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Fallout with a friend 2

PostPosted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 5:03 pm
by wiseone
Dear all,

I have a female friend who asked my opinion on the latest beau she likes, who used to be an old mate of mine before he lost himself to the bottle , i stated that she could do better and he has a drink problem and a string of broken women behind him , i thought she would be grateful for my honesty..............cue the reply i received which said i was a horrible person and am only saying that because i like her and want no one else to have her (not true now a while back maybe).

Was i right to tell her what i did or should of sugar coated it ? as now shes ignoring all me calls !

i think ill put this down to experience !

Re: Fallout with a friend 2

PostPosted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 9:12 am
by dipsydoodlenoodle
You should have sugar coated it; still tell the truth but in a nicer way.

Re: Fallout with a friend 2

PostPosted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 10:15 am
by earthchild
in my personal opinion i always appreciate my friends telling me straight and giving me their utmost opinion, afterall who can i trust to do so?
however, this approach may come across blunt and abrasive to others and it seems like it has offended your friend, i would apologise to her for upsetting her and make a mental note to self to be more tactful in how you approach her questions.
it does seem a little ridculous that she thinks you are only saying this to put her off him and is using this as an excuse maybe to ignore your opinion, if she really thought that why did she ask you in the first place.

Re: Fallout with a friend 2

PostPosted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 10:31 am
by dipsydoodlenoodle
earthchild wrote:in my personal opinion i always appreciate my friends telling me straight and giving me their utmost opinion, afterall who can i trust to do so?


You do want people to tell you the truth, sometimes it would just be nicer to have it worded nicely.

Re: Fallout with a friend 2

PostPosted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 12:06 pm
by earthchild
dipsydoodlenoodle wrote:You do want people to tell you the truth, sometimes it would just be nicer to have it worded nicely.


i get your point totally, but in this instant
isnt it nice to hear that someone isnt good enough for you?
and i dont think there is a nice way of telling someone that someone they likes has a drink problem or that they have hurt alot of people..

Re: Fallout with a friend 2

PostPosted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 12:14 pm
by dipsydoodlenoodle
I know but saying "they are a stupid alcoholic" as opposed to "they drink far too much, I would advise against it" would have been better.

Re: Fallout with a friend 2

PostPosted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 10:56 am
by wiseone
Dear all,

Well shes not returning my calls so its over ! thing is she knows what these guys are like but she goes ahead with it anyway ,

W1

Re: Fallout with a friend 2

PostPosted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 12:32 pm
by Bel Bel
she will find out in time you are right, maybe then you can rekindle the friendship and she weill lern to appreciate your honesty in the future
It annoys me that people ask for the truth but when you give it to them they blame you for having an opinion because they don't like what you say.

Re: Fallout with a friend 2

PostPosted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 12:46 pm
by kerrie24
I agree you were right to tell her your honest opinion,even if it isnt what she wanted to hear.In my opinion,a true friend will tell you the truth even if they dont necessarily agree or if it will hurt your feelings,at least thats what I expect from my friends.Then again,she has chosen to ignore you and that is up to her but at least you know you warned her.

Re: Fallout with a friend 2

PostPosted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 4:43 pm
by wiseone
Dear all,

I wont be bothering to re kindle it tbh as shes too immature to be around, i find her victim routine tiresome at the best , and its not rewarding when your sitting there watching her wantonly self destruct.

W1