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Best Friend's Heartbreak

PostPosted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 7:37 pm
by highlandcow
Hello all,

My best friend has just broken up with her boyfriend of two years, who is also a close friend of mine. It was her call but she is so sad. How can I make her feel better? All the usual stuff you say ("plenty more fish in the sea" etc) just don't seem enough and it feels like I'm not helping. It's usually been the other way around ie: her consoling me throughout my various relationships but now the shoe is on the other foot I don't have the words. I want to be a good friend and help her like she helped me.

Also, her ex boyfriend is a close friend of mine and they are both asking me about the other, which puts me in a difficult place. I want to stay friends with both of them obviously but it's a difficult situation.

Does anyone have any advice? How can I help her feel better?
Ta.

Re: Best Friend's Heartbreak

PostPosted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 8:05 pm
by captainf
Just be there for her - hang out with her, listen to her when she wants to talk. She might not necessarily want you to say much, she may just want you to listen.
Reassure her that in time she'll feel alot better and will move on in time and find someone new.

Re: Best Friend's Heartbreak

PostPosted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 8:53 pm
by snail
You can't really make her feel better. All you can do when someone is hurting is let them know you care for them and are sorry for their pain. It doesn't alter their grief but it is a source of comfort to them. Just let her know you care in whatever way you can: in a similar situation I made someone a chocolate cake from scratch and took it round, and she was really touched. (No, I did not have an ulterior motive for making something chocolatey :oops: ).

Re: Best Friend's Heartbreak

PostPosted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 8:36 am
by dipsydoodlenoodle
I think Snails idea of making her a cake or even going around on a friday night with a bottle of wine, snacks and a DVD.

snail wrote:You can't really make her feel better. All you can do when someone is hurting is let them know you care for them and are sorry for their pain. It doesn't alter their grief but it is a source of comfort to them


I'm sure you have but make sure she knows that she can call you and you will be there for her.

Re: Best Friend's Heartbreak

PostPosted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:49 pm
by everloney
Just be a friend and be available to talk about stuff with her. Also just spending time with her will help. I like the idea of cake and a film night. If my friend made me cake when i was heartbroken that would mean alot to me. For me after a break-up i send myself crazy thinking it over in my head, so being with people having fun and not dwelling is great for me, so my advise is to spend time with her doing whatever you usually do together, i'm sure you share alot of laughs and that will cheer her up.

Re: Best Friend's Heartbreak

PostPosted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 8:24 pm
by LiFETiME
yes, i agree, just having a girly night in with a bottle of wine would be great. but surely as she is your best friend, that you could talk to her and tell her your situation about wanting to stay friends with both of them, i'm sure you can tell the boy aswell about your situation, as they are your good friends, they should agree with you or atleast understand how you are feeling :)

Re: Best Friend's Heartbreak

PostPosted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 8:02 pm
by Deedee1
It depends what type of person she is. When I've had a bad breakup I like to go out with a group of friends on the town because it takes my mind off things and gives me time to laugh and chat about other things that aren't about my relationship (too much drink is a bad idea though - makes people emotional!) but when I consolled my best friend over her breakup she just wanted to stay in/watch DVDs etc and have someone to mull it all over with.

But whatever she prefers, it's usually just about keeping her company so she doesn't feel alone.