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An age old problem...falling for your mate

PostPosted: Wed Jan 20, 2010 9:14 pm
by boaz
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Re: An age old problem...falling for your mate

PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 12:04 pm
by dipsydoodlenoodle
She wants the best of both worlds, she wants you when ever she can and she wants ohter people for the excitement. I'd try and avoid situations where "drunken moments" could occur.

Re: An age old problem...falling for your mate

PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 2:06 pm
by boaz
Yeah DDNoodle, it's an odd one. I've noticed that she does have 'fads' on people that tend not to last...and she likes the buzz of freshness...and the attention. It's also weird to think that, if she DID turn round and say "C'mon then, me and you!"...I'd run a mile! #-o =; As others have posted on here, with the same problem, the confusion lay in the fact that our 'drunken moments' didn't stop at one...we had a few of those....and she's taken risks, like kissing/hugging me, whilst our children played in another room etc....hence I got drawn in. I really thought she was into me...we've done the meals out, gigs together etc. and we're great in each others company.

My head appears to be in place. It's my heart that jumps when I see her...and hurts when she 'disses' me. :(

Re: An age old problem...falling for your mate

PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 8:02 pm
by snail
If you really don't want her yourself, but you want to stay in contact with her, you'll have to accept that she can give herself to other men as and when she wants. You can't have it all ways, unfortunately. However, I thought something you wrote in Devil's thread was interesting:

boaz wrote:part of me feels that she is being cruel, by drawing me in initially (very flirty, drunken sex etc), but the other side of me realises that she never promised me anything...and therefore it's my 'fault' for getting in too deep!

No, you were right the first time - she is being cruel and it isn't all your fault. It's irrelevant what she did or didn't promise; relationships aren't about promises, because no one can give these. You can't say "I promise I will fall in love with you" or "I promise I won't fall in love" because no one has control over these things, only over their actions. If someone behaves like a girlfriend or boyfriend, then they have all the same responsibilities, whether they call themselves that or not. So don't blame yourself unfairly.

Re: An age old problem...falling for your mate

PostPosted: Sat Jan 23, 2010 11:05 pm
by boaz
Thank you. :D