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How do you tell your friend to pipe-down?!?!

PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 12:42 pm
by RagDoll
Hi,

Ok, this isn't a major problem and my subject title is a bit tongue and cheek... but I'd still be interested in any advice or opinions.

One of my best friends is a very bubbly, chatty character, which is something I obviously like about her, but recently it's become a problem in the sense that she completely dominates every conversation. When you ask her something, she won't just give you a 'normal' response, she'll go into very long-winded detail about whatever it is she's telling you about. It's not that I don't want to know what's going on in her life, of course I do as I care a lot about her, but it's just that you literally can't get a word in edgeways.

This is particularly a problem when we're with another good friend of both of ours (who is naturally a quieter person), as it feels like all we get to know about is all that is going on in XXX's life, and nothing about the other person. I've had conversations with this other friend about it and we both feel it's becoming more and more of an issue. For example, tonight the quieter friend and I have plans... I asked if we should invite the other friend as I felt guilty excluding her, but I know both of us were secretly hoping she'd have plans as if she was there we wouldn't get a chance to talk.

I hope I don't sound completely self-centered... I'm obviously interested in what's going on in my friend's life, but I also want to hear from my other friend when we're all together and even when I'm just alone with the louder friend, it'd be nice if she bothered to ask about what's happening in my life and not just use me as a sounding board.

As I said, not a huge issue, but it's getting increasingly irritating.

Re: How do you tell your friend to pipe-down?!?!

PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 12:48 pm
by Bel Bel
How about when you next meet up saying something like
Tonight I really want to hear what X has been up to so me and you are going to have to have our listening heads on, we always know what you're up to being so vocal" - make a bit of a joke about it. If she satrts up then say, "remember the rules tonight it's not about you and me" - so she doesn't feel like your ganging up on her you include yourself in the statement

Short of that you will just have to say "will you shut up for once and let someone else get a word in" :P

Re: How do you tell your friend to pipe-down?!?!

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 2:25 pm
by mattmxl
Couple of exercises to do here. First, when she's in full gattling gun flow, say to her "oh....look at that over there". Then when she turns around to look, slap her on the back of the head. This will stun her into silence and you'll be able to start a conversation of your own with somebody else. The 2nd and my personal favorite method, fake a heart attack or some other medical problem. All of the attention will then fall on you and stop gattling gun mouth in her tracks whilst the others attend to you. These should create the necessary diversion from her own life to bring about a five minute spell of silence.