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No "true" friends..

PostPosted: Mon Feb 22, 2010 8:57 pm
by inmyhead
Hey, I'm new to this site and lately been feeling really down about so many things so i thought i'd join some place to see if it makes me feel better.. hope i've came to the right place!

Anyway, one of the things thats getting me down is friendship. I'm 18 years old, throughout my life theres always been petty little arguements with friends, being immature young girls up till now..

For years, I had one great friend who I could rely on, we done everything together from 13-17, then we realised we were into different things and drifted apart, I accepted that and we still talk on a regular basis, just went our seperate ways.

My current friends though, I often get so upset and aggrivated at them. I joined their kind of "group" about a year ago and made best friends with one of the girls, the way she treats me is ridiculous, its got to the point my parents wont let her in my house, she has done some horrible things and put me in some extremely dangerous positions. She has another best friend who is also my friend, the 3 of us will go out quite a lot, except i'm only ever invited when i butt in and ask, they obviously think i've been intruding on their friendship.

Anyway to make the point i'm trying to make - I don't like the way they speak to me or treat me, the only reason I havent dumped them is because they are the only people I can socialise with. I don't attent college or university, I have a job but not made any friends from it.. I start college in a few months but I don't want to wait that long to meet new people, and I definitely can't tell the girls how I feel, it'll only make things worse.

I'm sorry its so long, I really need some re assuarance and cheering up cause its getting to the stage i'll cry for ages.

Re: No "true" friends..

PostPosted: Mon Feb 22, 2010 10:28 pm
by snail
I think it's better to be on your own than with people who upset you and treat you badly all the time. There are plenty of things you can do on your own - shopping, cinema, evening classes, voluntary work etc - while you're waiting to go to college. You could also try joining a friendship site - like a dating site, but just friends - and finding someone to socialise with from there.

Re: No "true" friends..

PostPosted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 12:58 am
by everloney
Thought i would reply. I totally get where you are coming from and i have had this similar problem myself. I had terrible friends but they were the only friends i had, so even though they were rotten to me i stuck around. I then went to uni and made some amazing friends and realized i deserve better than to waste MY time on losers who make me sad. I do understand your need for company but i think you should just drop these friends. You will make new better friends and be much happier but until then don't put up with these bullies. Treat yourself right, you will be alittle lonely chilling by yourself at first but atleast you will not be unhappy and treated poorly.

You will get some good friends, i did and i never thought i would :)

Re: No "true" friends..

PostPosted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 1:10 pm
by spacegirl
you say you have ntrue friends, but ye yu say there is one girl you were close to for years but you have now drifted apart. that doesn't mean you're no longer frien! i'm sure you would still confide in her if you had a problem or needed to talk and of course she would be there for you, and vice versa. I've found over the years that my friendship groups have changed a lot, depending on work, uni, where i'm living etc. but my true friends are those i've stayed in contact with, albeit rarely. my best friend is a girl i've been friends with since i was a kid, we see each other maybe 4 or 5 times a year, and we have absolutely nothing in common. yet we always have loads to talk about and it's reassuring to know that she's there. i don't think you should thro so much into these new friends you've got and certainly don't let some silly girl walk all over you because you feel you need a friend. step back and you'll realise that this girl is just someone you hang out with and don't let her take advantage of you.

Re: No "true" friends..

PostPosted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 11:33 pm
by pinkroses
i'm 29 and I have been friends with someone since we were 6 years old, we've both grown up together, were best friends and were always close. Over the years, we have remained friends but we dont see each other that often anymore, work commitments, family commitments etc. I have other friends now as does she, but we will always be there for each other even just at the end of the phone. You dont always have to see someone to be friends with them, true friends will always be there for you.
On that note, I dont think the people you are hanging about with at the moment are true friends. Friends dont put you in dangerous positions, or treat you badly, they're probably treatiung you badly because you're just accpeting it. Nobody deserves to be treated like that, if they continue then there is no point concentrating your efforts on them when you can be out meeting new people and forming new and better friendships.

Re: No "true" friends..

PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2010 10:24 pm
by red.nails
You really dont need them, im proberly close to age, 16, and some of m friend like that where a group of about 7 and 3 of them are so close they could be married and when its me and them i feel outside. I've learnt that i dont need that and its proberly not worth it, its proberly best for you to leave them and focus on your job you may meet someone there who will be better for you. Just be strong and accept it :)

Re: No "true" friends..

PostPosted: Wed Mar 03, 2010 1:12 am
by laney21
you are better off with out them. i know its easier said than done but your friends are supposed to be people you can rely on, trust and most of all - have fun with! its doesn't sound like your having much fun with these people. they sound like ur enemies rather than friends.
i also have a friend who is into completely different things but shes a nice person and we have a lot of laughs together! maybe u should try getting in contact with her again and suggest meeting up. u might have a lot of fun together despite being into different things now and realise u don't need to hang around with these silly girls who do nothing but upset u. also, get urself out there and do new things, u have ur whole life ahead of u and so many new, fun and interesting people to meet! :)

Re: No "true" friends..

PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 10:09 pm
by Brumman74
You are not the only one..

I have friends but they were never into the same interests as me. It was always so frustrating so I decided to do something positive about it..

So I joined social sites.. did courses.. set my own social site up.. I have really enjoyed meeting the different people especially those they like the same things I do.

Be proactive.. join courses.. social sites.. be positive and friends will come... it just takes a little time :-)