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Friend has a major drugs problem

PostPosted: Sun Mar 07, 2010 12:46 pm
by the-man
Heya all,

Bit of a long one here, if you don't mind bearing with me that'd be great.

Basically I'm friends with a girl who works at the same place as me, but in a different department (she's nearly 20, I'm 24). I've known her for nearly 4 years, and when she started I fancied her, but nothing really came of it, as she started going out with one of the sons of someone who also works in the same place, but again in yet another dept. They had a bit of a rocky relationship from what I can gather (parent's not happy with their suitability etc).

Anyway, they eventually split up, and shortly after her and I went out for a drink. I was happy that we seemed to be getting on OK, but she always seemed to be either on the phone or texting when we were together, talking about 'picking stuff up' and 'prices' of things (I had a feeling that I could guess what she was talking about....), and mentioning her ex. She asked me out again and I made excuses, as I didn't really think she was that keen because of the reasons I've just said.

We said hi whenever we saw each other, but didn't really speak too much again until last summer, and we started texting each other again. She kept suggesting going out for a drink, which I would have loved to (typical male I am, she was looking the best she had done in ages, really great), but when it came down to arranging something she'd never get back to me, but would text a few days later apologising for messing me around, saying she's had a lot on her mind etc.

Then she told me that she'd rented her own flat with a relation of hers, I was really pleased for her that she seemed to be getting herself back on track.

Fast forward to the last month or so, and she's hardly been at work, I've texted her a few times and she's only replied very rarely. The other day I asked one of her colleagues (and a mutual friend) if she'd heard anything about her, and basically told me that she's on the drugs really bad, she's dangerously underweight, and by how she's speaking she's not really bothered what happens to herself :( :( :cry: . The friend said that basically (and obviously none of this I can guarantee is true, but unfortunately it seems fairly likely, as much as I hope it's not) that 'if she could get away from her ex she'd be a lot better off', and that people have tried to tell her that she needs to get herself 'clean'.

Whilst as I said before, I did suspect she had dabbled in substances, I didn't realise how bad it was.

I'm worried sick about her, I texted yesterday but never heard anything back, I haven't been able to sleep very well since the other day. She's and absolutely lovely girl, and attractive too, before I heard all this I was hoping that her and I could get together.

I'm blaming myself for concentrating so much on trying to get with her and being pi**ed off when she didn't reply to me, that I didn't realise that if I took a step back and looked at the wider picture I may have seen that she needed help beforehand.

I don't know if anyone can suggest anything, I don't want her to think I'm interfering, but I really care about her.

TIA.

Re: Friend has a major drugs problem

PostPosted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 1:57 pm
by Bel Bel
I wuld steer well clear
She is the only one who can decide when she wants to give up the drugs
She may have been using you to get to her ex or seen you as a way out of her situation, either way you shouldn't get involved unless she has been clean fro a while as druggies will steal from you and generally make your life a misery
I know this isn't probably what you want to hear but I'm afraid there is nothing else I can suggest

Re: Friend has a major drugs problem

PostPosted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 11:57 am
by LemonJuice87
She has to admit she has a problem and wants help before anyone, let alone you, can help her.

Being friends or in a relationship with someone who is on drugs (Of any kind) is a rocky road. And like BelBel, i would advise you steer well clear too.
Not only do they steal from you (Belongings or 'lending' money), but in thier head, no-one else matters. It's all about them and when and where they will get thier next fix.

I know its not what you want to hear, you want ways to help her. But like i said, the first step is her admiting she has a problem.

When and if she does, great!! Come back and we'll advise.