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No friends!!

PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 7:42 pm
by GreasySpoon
Hey, I'm new on here... i have no one to talk to! I'm feeling pretty low and lost at the moment! Basically i have no friends! I have, not including my sister, ONE other friend who i turn to, which i'm grateful for and she is lovely but she has her own set of friends and i see her very little.
I have literally no friends to go out with or have any fun with! It never use to be this way, not that i was ever extremely popular (i can be shy!) but i had friends i could socialise with.
Since i've had my baby my life has been pretty much dedicated to my daughter and i do actually feel that me having a baby has resulting in me loosing friends!! I find this very hurtful and one of my closest friends who i had before the pregnancy has turnt her back completely. Not sure why and i am aware now that she was never a true friend to begin with but it still hurts!! :(
Most, if not all, of the friends i went out with before do not have children so it might be because we don't have anything in common anymore but i would have thought that just because i am now a mum doesn't mean my life has to end and i can't have any fun.
And what makes it all worse is that recently the father of my daughter and i have seperated, he has moved out and i am alone. Don't get me wrong, my daughter is amazing company but i can't have an adult conversation with her! :wink: And when my daughter has the weekend with her daddy her mummy is wondering where all her friends have gone!?
If i don't have any friends or i'm finding it harder to make friends then i don't see how i will meet a future boyfriend lol! Although a new man is the least of my worries at the mo.
I am feeling very sorry for myself i know :-({|= i apologise! Any advice would be much appreciated though! xx

Re: No friends!!

PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 7:58 pm
by AprilSpring
Hi there. I felt quite similar to how you're feeling now after I had my children. How old is your little one? I would advise that you go to playgroups with your daughter, that is the way that I met my new 'mummy' friends. It is hit and miss and not all mums are friendly, which is what I found at first, or at least not friendly enough to meet up outside of the playgroup. It took a while but I've now got a lovely group of friends. Do you have a surestart centre in your area? They do loads of great groups for all ages and it's a great place to meet likeminded mums. It's a shame that having children segregates us so much, I was really shocked at that, I never thought that people would shy away from me once I had children! It is hard and I remember feeling down like you do now, but don't fear it won't always be like this, just give it time. Good luck :)

Re: No friends!!

PostPosted: Sat Apr 03, 2010 9:44 pm
by GreasySpoon
Thanks so much for your reply! I feel much better now. I guess it is quite common for new mums. I will def try playgroups in my area as that is a good idea. Funny how i wrote this last night and then today an old friend came to visit me and asked if i wanted to go out soon! She must have sensed my loneliness O:) Thanks again xxxx

Re: No friends!!

PostPosted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 6:51 pm
by missypink16
hello i have a baby ad i have no friend friends turned there back on e when i was pregnant and made new friendship circles. my sister is busy at uni and my other friends are too busy with family life than to bother with going out with me aywhere. i feel loneley to.i feel like no where to go t make friends . i did think that my partners sister was my friend but then she called me bad names so obviously we arent fiends at at all! its very hard to get friends if you hve no one to go out with in the first place! so your no alone in feeling this way :(

Re: No friends!!

PostPosted: Tue Apr 27, 2010 2:33 pm
by hana.15
I cant say i ahve been in your situation, because i havnt. As i am not a mum myself, however a few of my own friends have been in simular situations as you, except without the baby.

Attend mother and toddler groups, this will help you to meet other mums, who might be in the same situation as yourself. I also suggest that you take up a hobby, such as the gym or a dance class (What ever stikes your fancy) and you can meet people there. Even if its only once a week, im sure your own mother wouldnt mind looking after the little un for an hour or so.

Another suggestion is to get into contact with some of your older friends, they might be thinking that you havnt got time for them anymore now that you have a baby, so why not try making the first steps by arranging them to come over for a girls night in ECT that way you dont have to find a babysitter and you can have a laugh in the comfort of your own home.

Hope this advice gives you some help

Hannah x

Re: No friends!!

PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 10:04 pm
by Brumman74
You have to be positive and go out and meet likeminded people..

As the posters have pointed playgroups are a good way.. If you could get a babysitter how about evening classes?

Check papers for details of classes or try Gumtree in your area.. there are sometime lots of cool things to do advertised on their site.

You just have to go out... staying at home will never help... be positive & proactive.. you will have friends in no time at all :-)