Page 1 of 1

Housemate complications

PostPosted: Sat Aug 28, 2010 2:11 pm
by Skarlet
Well, as a lot of you know, I have recently moved into a new houseshare. I really get on with my housemate, we often eat together, and watch films. Along the way there have been indicators that he likes me more than just a friend. He is older then me.

His interest has sometimes come across as aggressive questioning of who I am and how I am behaving. Last night he got like that again. He finds me hard to read I think. Anyway his question was that he isn't sure whether I am as sweet as I seem and I just project an air of being bad, or if I am bad but projects an air of being sweet. He then told me he likes me. I don't really know what I should do, when being confronted in that way I clammed up.

I am also not sure if I can stay living there. What do you think?

Re: Housemate complications

PostPosted: Sat Aug 28, 2010 3:27 pm
by snail
Oo blimey, Skarlet, that's all you need isn't it! I don't like the sound of that question at all, it feels rather angry, intense and misogynistic.

I'm sure you don't need another house move right now, so I think I would just cut back the socialising until you are just housemates and nothing more - don't eat together or watch films, and don't respond to inappropriately personal comments. See where that takes you, and start thinking about where you could move to if you had to.

That's assuming you don't like him back of course. Do you see a potential relationship in this?

Re: Housemate complications

PostPosted: Sat Aug 28, 2010 4:08 pm
by Skarlet
No, can't see a relationship forming with him, he isn't my type, I don't find him sexually attractive and I want to just do casual at the moment.

Because I have only just moved there I have kind of liked the company. But I am going to start getting out more. He already shows jealousy of people liking talking to me. Would be a repeat of my ex I think.

Re: Housemate complications

PostPosted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 3:46 pm
by Bel Bel
Yes i think getting out there and having more of a social life is the way forward.
He will probably decide you are bad but project the air of being sweet, so be it , who cares what he thinks . You share a house not a bed. If he gets too out of hand you will have to remind him he is neither your dad nor your lover but merely your flat/house mate

Re: Housemate complications

PostPosted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 12:08 am
by Skarlet
I thought I would write a quick update on this.

I moved out last friday, it was the best decision, things got even more complicated. for the whole month of september, I barely spent a weekend at home and it was going okay. I ignored the issue of him fancying me, until I started dating again and it became impossible to ignore. We had some very very awkward conversations, about how he liked me, why i didn't like him. What was wrong with him, and so on, then for the time i dated the guy he basically avoided me. When that ended, we started talking more, but it was still really odd.

Re: Housemate complications

PostPosted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:51 am
by snail
Good news.

I hope you've moved in with a woman this time - you're clearly irresistible [-X

Re: Housemate complications

PostPosted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 1:42 pm
by Skarlet
Lol, I am pretty sure I am not irresistable... :oops:

I have moved in with a couple, so much safer all round.

Re: Housemate complications

PostPosted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 2:28 pm
by snail
Oo, a couple - the mind boggles :o

:P

Re: Housemate complications

PostPosted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 4:19 pm
by Skarlet
Lol, yeh that sounds a bit odd. I am living with a guy and girl who are dating or more than that. Well I assume so. :)

Re: Housemate complications

PostPosted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 5:07 pm
by rufio89
Maybe YOUR mind boggles Snail! :p