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This year could either be great or terrible...

PostPosted: Wed Sep 29, 2010 10:40 am
by stormblue
Hey,
So I'm starting my second year at uni in a few weeks and I'm really worried about my social situation. I'm living with a girl I lived with last year ( we get on well but she has a boyf who she spends literally all her time with now) and four other people. The four others I don't know well. I'm really worried I'll feel really sad and lonely. I was quite lonely last year because I lived with very "laddish" boys and then the girl...with the boyfriend. The thing is I am not a particularly shy person it just takes me a long time to feel comfortable with people. Last year was different because I was a girl and the guys just wanted to play the xbox, talk about sex and drink beer etc... which was fine, they were a laugh, but I didn't build solid friendships with them.

I realise I need to branch out which is why half of me is glad I'm living with new people but half of me is really nervous; these girls have heaps of friends. There is also a further problem; they all do the same subject ( which is why they are all close , apart from me) and they are friends with other people in their course. These other people are good friends with my ex. My ex does not like me and I know for a fact he has been witching about me to pretty much everyone. I hate to think what he has said. I know that one of these girls who is very good friends with him is really close to the girls I am living with this year. Basically it's very sticky.

I don't know why but at uni I just kind of retreat into myself. This problem is now made me doubly anxious due to the fact I've been bitched about. My confidence is really knocked. I know I'm a nice person and the friends I do have I have a right laugh with and I'm known as the funny one at home and have quite a few people I can tell anything to. Just not at uni..

What do you think I should do? I don't want to seem desperate and over-zealous for these girls friendship and always try and tag along when they go out in their big course group etc.. They are all seriously best friends. Kind of like the pretty popular girls at school who are very close knit. I just already feel like I will be all shy and not myself even though I'm not there!


What would you do?

best wishes,

A

Re: This year could either be great or terrible...

PostPosted: Wed Sep 29, 2010 11:15 am
by Bel Bel
Be yourself and the girl will soon realise for herself that you are not the horrible person your ex is claiming (if he is actually saying things, you may be assuming somethign that isn't even happening)

You could also go make peace with your ex. Did you split from him? If so it would explain his negativity towards you.

Build yourself activities outside the house so you can get to know other people. Invite people from your course out for drinks etc. People are not going to come knocking looking for you so you need to make an effort to make friends. It won't always work out with each person but keep trying and you will make some good frinds and some which you will just see as "good night out" friends