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I did a stupid thing and now all my friends hate me!

PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 4:33 pm
by granadagirl
Okay... I'd really appreciate your advice as I'm feeling really rubbish about myself and it's all my fault.

I did a stupid thing about 6 weeks ago after a falling out with my flatmate. But first, I'll fill you in on the details.

So moved to a new city under a year ago, moved in with my good friend and we had a great time up until about a month before our tenancy was due to end. We had both really different lifestyles - I was working fulltime and doing loadsa overtime, she was unemployed and stayed in the house 24/7. When I used to come home, she would get really angry - and I mean REALLY angry - scream, swear etc about the smallest of details - i.e. I hadn't done my washing up the night before (cos I was tired) or used a piece of her bread (whereas the months proceeding this we'd happily use each other's stuff and replace). So because of this and because of me finding a new boyfriend I didn't want to stay at mine anymore. So this is where is all started to go wrong, basically rubbish being texted to each other.

Meanwhile she had a large group of amazing friends that welcomed me into the group with open arms - I became their friend too and was being invited to parties/clubnights/trips away. So I was worried that when my friendship started breaking down with her that I would lose these people too. However a couple of them reassured me that they have issues with her anger too and that I'm their friend as well - which was nice. Thing as well is my exflatmate has huge issues - drugs, police, messed up boyfriend and the biggest anger management problem - so all her 'friends' walk on eggshells around her.

On one day - after a big argument with her at the flat - I read her status update and she accused me of stealing from her and lying and I was so angry :evil: for her to accuse me of things that weren't true in a public forum where everyone could see was disgusting! In a flash of rage I did a really stupid thing and hacked into her facebook account and deactivated it. I felt really good for a hour or two then it dawned on me how devastating that would be if it happened to me - all pictures, friends, important and special messages deleted. I felt so so guilty.

So obviously it's pretty easy for her to have figured out it was me who did it - 1) after an argument, 2) me knowing her personal details 3) my IP address etc.

Okay, it has been resolved though, she's back up on to it and has managed to get back most if not all of the things in her previous account - except she hasn't added me as a friend. My problem is that now she has told all of our mutual friends what I did and suddenly I'm the worst enemy - no more invites, being ignored etc. I would find consellation in my other friends except these are really the only people I have. Can I get your advice on what I'm to do? I know I'm an absolute b*tch for doing this and I accept my fate now but have you any thoughts about things I could do to make things better? Talking to her is NOT an option.

Thanks

Re: I did a stupid thing and now all my friends hate me!

PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 7:21 pm
by Liquidius
That's a bit of a tricky one.

I think the problem you have here is that the people you've been socialising with were her friends, regardless of how close you got to them, or what they've said to you. You're going to find that they're still friends with her, so even if you made friends with them, she's always going to be on the scene. It sounds like something, for the meantime at least that you want to forget, so are you sure this is such a good idea?

If you want to stay friends with them, tell them your side of the story. Be honest. It's all you can do. They'll then decide whether they want to talk to you or not.

Re: I did a stupid thing and now all my friends hate me!

PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 10:44 am
by crazy_in_love
if I am honest this was always going to happen. No matter how close you was to them, ou have only known them what maybe a year and she has known them longer. They were just waiting for you to retaliate and do something so that they could take sides and that side was always going to be hers. Noone fell out with her for saying bad things about you, however you deactivate her account and thats it. Also you can deactivate and reactivate your account without losing anything. She would just need to realise its been deactivated, log in to her old account and reactivate it. If she didnt know that and then just made a new account then she would have lost everything.