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Lonely

PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 2:40 pm
by ohdear
I know this might sound a bit dramatic, but I have nobody to talk to, ever. My "best friend" is only interested in herself, and getting drunk. She tells me to open up to her but if she ever sees me upset, she tells me I'm "putting her on a downer".

I have a few friends, but I haven't known them long enough to trust them, they are lovely people though. One of my friends (who is an angel, never had a friend like her!) is working abroad until July, and she was the only person I could really open up to.

My boyfriend has told me that I "should be able to deal with stuff" by myself and that he doesn't want me to talk to him about my problems any more.

I definitely can't speak to my mother, as she was a cause of a whole lot of problems growing up, we only became close after the birth of my daughter. I have a large family, but I know can't speak to any of them. I used to be really close with my Nanna, but now I'm older we don't get to see each other much :( She is an amazing woman, and of all of my family members, I was the closest to her.

I'm generally not a whingy person, I just have things I need to talk about now and again. I used to be really open with my boyfriend and tell him how I felt all the time, I'd even cry in front of him (and that is a big deal for me).

Now I have nobody, and my whole world is crumbling around me!

Re: Lonely

PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 5:05 pm
by highlandcow
Oh dear, that's horrible, I can definately see why you're feeling down. I think we've all been in this situation at one time or another.
What's up with your boyfriend? If you used to be able to confide in him, what's changed? Maybe he's got problems of his own that need to be addressed. Still that's no reason for him to completely dimiss you like that. [-(
Have you told him how his dismissal of you makes you feel? My other half was acting in a similar way a couple of months ago when I felt things were getting on top of me, and it turned out he had things going on at Uni that were bringing him down. A bit of communication helped.

Can you Skype with your friend abroad? That might help. Even email can bring people calls, and even international calls aren't that expensive on a landline if she's still got a UK mobile number. Even a short conversation once a week could make a world of good. :)

You could get closer to your other friends you mentioned. If they're lovely then I'm sure they'll want to help you out. If you spend a bit more time with them then you'll be able to open up.

Or, are there any social groups in your area? Or clubs or classes you can join? That way you'll have a common intrest to
get you talking.

And there's always us on PP! :P

Re: Lonely

PostPosted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 11:20 am
by HelenAshby
I know exactly how you feel.

People always say, talk to your boyfriend, but he's your boyfriend NOT your agony aunt so I do not recommend it.

Having read your lessage carefully, I honestly believe that your BEST bet is your Nana. She will be really flattered that you choose to confide in her, and she has known you the longest.

Don't hesitate -- you CAN rebuild that closeness with her ... really you can! Take a few days off and go and stay with her --- I am sure she would love to listen and give you her wisdom!

If that really isn't an option, start a thread on here and pour out all your troubles, at length, till it's all talked out. Just writing it all will help, before you even get any reponses.

And remember, you can always phone the Samaritans, they are not just for the suicidal but for anyone in intense distress.

Best of luck

Helen

Re: Lonely

PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2012 3:52 am
by ohdear
I did type out a long reply ages ago, but it didn't come through, andI was sort of hoping it was being administrated. It didn't show up though.

I've been very ill recently. Sleeping 18 hours a day, at least, but it's being sorted by the doctor, slowly, but surely. A lot of it was stress.

I just feel so helpless and lost. The only good thing in my life is my daughter, and she's the only thing keeping me going. She's the only good thing in my life.There's only one thing I am sure about, when it comes to myself, and that is that I am a good mother.

I don't know how I get up every morning, only the thought of looking after my little girl makes me get up. Even now, I think perhaps she would be better off with someone else as her mother.

Re: Lonely

PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2012 10:58 am
by snail
Is the doctor sorting something out to help with your depression as part of your treatment package?

Re: Lonely

PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2012 2:06 pm
by Bel Bel
How old is your daughter, could you have postnatal depression. It can go on for many years after birth if it isn't sorted out?