Strong feelings for my mates girlfriend

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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Strong feelings for my mates girlfriend

Postby bulldog » Sun Oct 19, 2003 7:55 pm

My mate and his girlfriend have been having a few problems recently so I asked if she wanted to play pool for my team so they could spend time apart as there together 24/7, over the last 2 months there rows are getting worst and I get phone calls from both parties they have split twice and I have managed to get them back together, But recently I have started to get strong feelings towards her I cant say its love but it could be I cant bear talking to either of them at the moment coz i want to tell her how i feel but dont want to lose there freindship, she says she has told her mum that i have been a good friend and we go out together at least once a week and her mum says to be careful as i may feel more for her, but my friend said its ok he knows were just freinds should I leave them alone or should i listen to the problems and just hide my emotions, last week while she was drunk she said she wanted me to move to scotland with her next year and she wants to leave him, WHAT CAN I DO? please help :-?
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Postby Lorelei » Mon Oct 20, 2003 8:14 pm

Well, that entirely depends!
They say 'all's fair in love and war'.

Do you think their relationship is on the way out anyway? (It does sound bad that they're fighting SO much that you had to intervene in the first place.)

If you and this girl got together, you would have to be prepared for the possibility of losing your friend.

If your feelings are strong enough (and N.B. RECIPROCATED enough, i.e. she must feel the same) that you think you could REALLY and TRULY have a future (in Scotland or wherever) with her, then maybe it's worth the risk.
But is she really going to want to go straight from one serious relationship into another?

If she left him, went out with you, decided to dump you to 'get her head together' and you had lost him as a friend, wouldn't you regret it? You'd have lost both of them.

But if you're going to stop hanging out with them ANYWAY because you can't bear it, then you have nothing to lose by telling her how you feel.
Or you can keep doing what you're doing and hope you get over your feelings.

But if you're going to be miserable pretending to be her friend when you really feel more, don't do it to yourself.
The choice, after all, is yours!
Hope it all works out!xxx :grinningpumpkin:
Last edited by Lorelei on Wed Oct 22, 2003 12:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby saz » Tue Oct 21, 2003 10:40 am

Oooh tricky one here. I would try to take a step back from their problems for a while and let their relationship come to a natural end. It doesn't sound like it is going to carry on for much longer. If you are no longer actually involved in the arguing by being piggy in the middle they will probably sort it out quicker.

You have to be careful that she isn't just leaning on you during this crisis and sees you purely as a friend. If you tell her how you feel now, because things are so messy she might make a quick but wrong decision and then you might both regret things.

Once things have ended then you should let her know how you feel. Be prepared for your friend to not be too pleased about it though! As Lorelei has already said, alls fair in love and war but i would still tread very carefully.

She may well really like you but it isn't the best time to start a new relationship before the old one has ended properly. She is probably aware of this. You dont really want to get dragged even further into things do you? Just bide your time and see what happens.

good luck to you let us know how it goes
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Postby Fidel » Tue Oct 21, 2003 8:48 pm

This is tricky but sometimes u can't help feelings
I'll keep it short
don't do anything to hurt urself or either of them at the moment until ur sure everything is alrite with ur mate
But moving to scotland would be a big step and a bit of evidence that she prefers u over him - think about that

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Postby depman » Wed Oct 22, 2003 10:04 am

You need to be careful about losing your friend
I would leave them to it for a while
You know you like her that little bit more but do you want to lose your friend
I have been on the receiving end and I lost my friend who I knew for 18 years we grew up together and went everywhere together
He went with my ex straight after me splitting with her when I was low
So he wasnt much of a friend in the end
So be prepared to either lose a friend forever or a GF that you dont know how long you are going to be with
Hope this helps
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Postby kinky_kylie_aka_babes » Wed Oct 29, 2003 9:05 pm

Im sorry to break this to u hun, but no dont do it this is your friend yes youve got feelin for his ex girl watever but if u feel like u cant keep your feelins back then have a word with your mate and if he says he dont care then GO FOR IT but if not then im sorry you will have to be patient and wait then go for it please ALSO if your relationship is not strong with your mate then forget him and just go for her.
xxxxxxxkinky kyliexxxxxxxxx

p.s. your feelings count to dont forget that. Remeber there is also plenty of girls out there. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D hope it goes well
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