Let down by Friend

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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Let down by Friend

Postby Bubble » Mon Dec 08, 2003 2:05 pm

Hiya.
Feel really let down by a friend at the moment. Every year she comes with me to my works christmas party. And last saturday we all went out to school disco, and i brought some other friends with us. She was really drunk by the time we were in there, and although i did make an effort with her i was mainly with my other friend who didn't really know anyone. Now today she has texted to say she can't afford to come to the party anymore, even though she's known about it for months and is getting her hair done before hand, costing £100. I asked her if she was annoyed with me and she said she wasn't. But i can't help feeling that something isn't right. I'm meant to be going over her place on xmas evening, and also going away with her at new year for 5 days but i really am not wanting to right now. I'm not sure what i should do!
Nuff Love
*Donna*
xxxxx
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Postby saz » Mon Dec 08, 2003 3:32 pm

I can see why you feel let down but maybe she doesn't realise how much it means to you that she goes with you. She might be thinking that you have other friends too, and you could take one of them. Saying that it could be a little test to see whether you nag until she gives in or just give up and take someone else!

She might have felt a bit left out the other night but it is no excuse to let someone down on a long standing arrangement. I think you are just going to have to have a proper chat with her and worm the problem out of her.

Getting her hair done for that sort of money might suggest a bloke on the scene or a potential bloke which might be part of the problem!

Good luck and dont worry you will have a good time even if she doesn't go dont let it ruin the night.
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cos i'm in love with the inner being
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Postby Fidel » Mon Dec 08, 2003 4:56 pm

Yeah sounds like male trouble - don't worry
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Postby smile » Mon Dec 08, 2003 4:57 pm

Hi Donna,

Maybe your friend is going through a rough week or so. Everyone feels down at times so she may just be taking it out on you. No excuse, I know but give her time. She may come round.

Smile x x
When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.

Just remember to keep smiling!
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Postby littlemonkey » Mon Dec 08, 2003 7:09 pm

THINGS WILL FEEL BETTER, HAVE YOU SPOKEN TO HER ABOUT WHATS UPSETTING YOU
Last edited by littlemonkey on Mon Dec 08, 2003 9:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Enigma » Mon Dec 08, 2003 8:01 pm

So you think she's saying she can't afford it as an excuse? If she actually can't afford it, then she's probably feeling down that she can't go to something you've been planning for a while. If I had limited funds and had to decide between getting my hair done or spending it on a night out, the priority would have to be the hair as the money would go to a long term thing.
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Postby cheese100 » Mon Dec 08, 2003 8:26 pm

hi
You did go off a bit with your other friend maybe something was on her mind and she feels that you let her down talk to her and tell her how hurt you are.Maybe she is just bored with the same things just see how she is but dont push her too much.cheese xx
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Postby Bubble » Tue Dec 09, 2003 1:40 pm

Hmm some varied responses.
On saturday, she was mainly with her brother and his friends anyways. And she knew i was bringing a friend who didn't know anyone.
She sometimes doesn't tell it like it is, i.e would say she can't afford it if she didn't want to go as she did that to a girl she worked with once.
Anyways it was playing on my mind all day yesterday, and due to other things i was pretty upset, so i sent her a text message basically saying that if there was a problem i wanted to sort it out otherwise i didn't fancy the new year trip and she rang straight away saying there wasn't. I got upset,and was honest and said i felt let down, and she said she didn't realise how much it meant to me by her being there. She was under the impression i'd be with others anyway. she was also thinking about the party last year when she was pretty fed up and didn't have such a good time, but that was because her ex-boyfriend had been nasty to her. So she said she definately wants to come now, i think we needed the heart to heart.
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xxxxx
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Postby Enigma » Tue Dec 09, 2003 7:05 pm

Sounds like a progress. Looks like you have a good night coming up then he he...
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Postby littlemonkey » Tue Dec 09, 2003 7:09 pm

have a good time :D
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Postby Lorelei » Tue Dec 09, 2003 11:06 pm

Sounds just like the relationship I have with my friend!
Sometimes, I know she feels jealous of my other female friends (she's admitted it) and takes it out on me by letting me down over arrangements we've made.
When I ask her about it she says: "Oh, I didn't think you'd notice whether I was there or not!"
Maybe your friend just needed to hear that you WOULD notice.
I get a bit annoyed sometimes too if she keeps blowing off arrangements with me to stay in with her boyfriend and I take it out on her by 'not contacting her 'til she contacts me' or being 'busy' when she does, and that sort of thing.
We're 23, you'd think we'd know better, but it's all very human and silly, I suppose. A good heart to heart always sorts everything out!
Sometimes we all need to be reminded that we're needed.
Enjoy your Xmas party!xxx
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Postby Bubble » Wed Dec 10, 2003 9:03 am

Thanx. Its normally a really good night!! Although i have all the oldies chasing me for a dance. ewwww
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