im am bad friend

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im am bad friend

Postby luvliness1234 » Mon Dec 08, 2003 2:44 pm

recently i had sex with some lad , but a few weeks before my mate did aswell , she wasnt going out with him or anything , and a few days after she was going out with another lad , i dint tell her cos i knew she would stress n when she did find out she really did stress i sed sorry , but i dont see why she woulnt talk to me atall , it wasnt anything special she did with him , n now he wants to go out with , he foned me up and everything ( even though he doesnt believe in fones ?!?) and he never foned her . shes , my best mate i dont see y she was so upset . now i think im pregnant with his abby or ive caught somthing off of him :(
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Postby saz » Mon Dec 08, 2003 3:20 pm

Your friend is probably upset because she might have really liked him even though things didn't work out between them. If you like him and want to go out with him then you may well lose your friend but seen as she isn't going out with him anymore it might just take time for her to forgive and forget. Boyfriends come and go but friends can be there for life so try and talk to her and apologise.

If you think you are having his baby it is important that you get this confirmed as people have posted in your other topic. Get some advice as soon as possible so that you know all of your options. You also need to get checked for the STI.

If you are not pregnant the best way to not get into this situation is to use protection. Even just that once without a condom can get you pregnant or an STI. You are also under the age of consent and your boyfriend could actually get into trouble for having an intimate relationship with you.
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Postby luvliness1234 » Mon Dec 08, 2003 3:32 pm

i am going out with some one already which is the problem it could be any ones , and if i have anything ive already given it to my boyfriend . i feel really guilty.
as you may see i am a bit messed up .
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Postby saz » Mon Dec 08, 2003 3:39 pm

I dont want to lecture you - i am sure it isn't what you came here for but it is a bit worrying that you are in such a situation.

You are only 14 and this is very young (and illegal im afraid) to be having lots of sexual relationships with different people at the same time. If you are pregnant these lads probably wont know what to do and it will be very long, hurtful and painful to wait to find out who the father is.

You should speak to your parents or a teacher at school. They will be able to help and support you through this time. It is important that you find out whether you are pregnant because then you can look at all your options.
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Postby luvliness1234 » Mon Dec 08, 2003 3:46 pm

i know my boyfriend will stick by me , i know i have ruined my life and there is really no way of sorting it out
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Postby kitten » Mon Dec 08, 2003 3:52 pm

There is always a way.

You have options if you are pregnant. Try and get to an advice centre and talk things over.

As Saz has said it is a bit worrying that you are in this situation at 14. I am 22 and have only ever had one partner. I also now I couldn't handle a baby just yet and I am married and in a stable relationship.
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Postby saz » Mon Dec 08, 2003 3:53 pm

Dont think of it as ruining your life, please dont.

I got pregnant when i was 15 but it was in horrible circumstances. I couldn't keep the baby so i had a termination. I dont regret it because i wasn't ready for a baby at that time and could never have coped i would have had hardly any support and i wanted to stay at school. So for me this was the option best for me and a baby.

I would never tell someone to keep or not keep a baby it is up to them and the situation they are in.

I am now 23 and have 1 year old baby and i adore her. Having a baby is very difficult but i wouldn't say it ruins your life it changes it. You have to make a decision as to whether you could cope and could you provide for a baby. These are the things that a doctor would discuss with you and help you to make a decision.

It is important to see a doctor soon because when i was 15 i nearly left it too late because i was scared. If i hadn't of gone when i did everything would now be different.

You need to get your mum involved because she will be the one who supports you most. Talk to her and think carefully about everything in your life.
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Postby Lorelei » Tue Dec 09, 2003 11:29 pm

Well, I think your friend will get over you sleeping with the same guy as her. I must admit, when I was younger (although, I must add that I was legal) I did sleep with a couple of guys who had already slept with a friend of mine. She had one night stands with them and then I went out with them. My friend and I just ended up laughing about it and comparing notes! I don't advocate this sort of behaviour, of course, but what's done is done.

What's important now is not what you have done, but what you do next.

1. If you plan to remain sexually active, use proper protection in future.

2. Tell your friend you're sorry and that you really need her support
at the moment and that she's more important to you than this boy. Tell
her that you really value her friendship and that you wouldn't have
slept with him if you knew it would upset her. You thought she wouldn't
care as she had a new boyfriend. Tell her what a hard time you're
having. I'm sure she'll forgive you and be there for you.

3. Go to a chemist, pick up a pregnancy test, buy it, go home and do it
and then you will know if you need to be worrying about pregnancy. If
you can't afford one, go to a family planning clinic and they will do one
for you. Then you can consider your options, if need be.

4. Go to the doctor and tell him/her that you are afraid of having an STI.
He/she will examine you and tell you whether you do or not. Then you
will know whether you have to worry about having and STI or not. If
you have something, the doctor will probably be able to prescribe
something to cure it.

The fact that you feel your life is ruined at 14 is worrying. I think you might be depressed. You should also ask the doctor about counselling. I'm sure you can make up with your friend, if you're pregnant just FIND OUT and you can decide what to do, and if you have an STI you can probably treat it so just GET IT SORTED OUT!
And then you'd have no more problems, imagine how great that would be!
Best of luck with everything, I hope it all works out well for you. Keep us posted on your pregnancy test and STI test results!xxx
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