how can i trust him

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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how can i trust him

Postby saraha » Tue Dec 30, 2003 7:04 pm

ok me and my ex broke up over a month ago.
i broke up wid him as i couldnt cope with my past and didnt want him to no i hadnt put my child abuse behide me as he kept telling me 2.
i felt i adissapointed him and didnt want him to no.

wel i told him afterwards
and we remained friends.
i wanted to get bact together.
we met up to try and sort this out.
as he in d army so i dont see him much.

he acted like we were still together when we met and we end up making love
not i really wanted to but i felt i disappointed enough and i really loved him.
he knows my ex tried to rape me and the another used me 4 sex and money.
so he no's i wouldnt of made love unless he wanted to be with me and he loved me.

he told me he regret the moment i left.
that he shouldnt of given me false hope.
he claimes he feel really sorry for the way he acted.
i feel used and really hurt.

now we are ment to be friends.
but i am scared to trust him.
i worried even as a friend again he going to hurt me.
i am probably being stupid.
i have been hurt alot my my family, ex boyfriends and friends.

i lost my trust, respect and faith in him.
and i am scared to be any where near him.
i feel really stupid.
and dont no wot to do.
as i cant even look at him with out feeling terrible inside.
i sure he feels really bad and sorry 4 wot he did.
wel that is wot he tels me,
i feel i cant believe any thing his says.

he txts me to c if i ok.
but i just dont no wot to do.
how can i be friends after this.
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Postby misatok11 » Tue Dec 30, 2003 7:36 pm

You just need to take things step-by-step here. He knows how much you have been hurt in the past so he should understand this.

The fact that he is still remaining in touch is also a comfort to know. It can be hard to put bad experiences behind and they shouldn't be left. They tend to linger and pop up as if to say "I'm still here" and they never really go away.

There are councillors who have had experiences in these matters and most have been there themselves. I think you need to see one of these councillores to talk things through to get answers for yourself to help you move on with your life rather than holding you back from being you.

If you need help in getting in contact with a councillor/advisor do not hesitate to contact myself or one of the other moderators.
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Postby saraha » Tue Dec 30, 2003 7:55 pm

i do see a councellsor (unsure on spelling)
about my family and ex's and friends that abused me.

but i am unsure how i cant be friends with my ex after he used me 4 sex.
he new what he wanted and got it.
and i feel hurt.
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Postby misatok11 » Tue Dec 30, 2003 8:18 pm

Talking to him and make sure he knows how you feel is the best way around this. Make it clear to him that you will not tolerate this in the future.
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