somebody to talk to?

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somebody to talk to?

Postby ann36912 » Sun Jan 04, 2004 4:45 pm

Hi, I feel a bit silly writing on here but i think it would help if somebody i dont know would talk to me. I was friends with a few girls all the way through school but i was always the pushover and pretty much got walked all over. since leaving school i found a great boyfriend (who ive been with for almost two years) and found lots of confidence in myself. Since then my friends dont want to know me anymore because im not the same person which is good for me because i'm not a pushover any more and i stand up for myself now. Im happy for myself because ive changed for the better, i know lots of people but now i have no real friends. nobody would guess my problem as i have no problem talking to people but making friends is so hard.

Has anyone else had this problem and what happened? Thanks for reading luv ann x :D
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Postby joker » Sun Jan 04, 2004 8:05 pm

i have sorta had this problem as since ive been with my girlfriend i dont get much time to see my mates so they have sorta drifted away. But at the end of the day my girlfriend is the most important thing and she is like my best mate aswell so i woudnt worry about not having friends because by the sound of it your happy enough with your boyfriend
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Postby saz » Sun Jan 04, 2004 8:17 pm

Hi Ann welcome to problem pages.

I dont think you have actually changed as a person, you have gained confidence. Your friends should know that you are still Ann, not a total stranger. But it can be hard for people to accept any changes, improvements maybe out of jealousy?

I think you need to talk to them about this problem. It could be more that they feel you dont want them anymore, or maybe they weren't really proper friends seen as they aren't happy with the confident version of you. Being a pushover is a horrible way to think of yourself, maybe they are worried you are going to pay them back for how they treated you!

Be proud of yourself for regaining your confidence. Has your boyfriend got friends you could socialise with? If they go out as a group maybe with girlfriends you could get to know them better.

Making friends is hard i often feel this way too. I am 23 and have a toddler, house, partner etc, and all my old school friends have just left uni. They dont bother with me much now. I have made a few friends who have children but other than kids we dont have a lot in common. Like you i know a lot of people, say at work, but deep friendship is hard to come by. Dont feel downhearted, at some point you will click with a friend. For now you have your partners friendship and family, (like i do) and i just make the most of their support at the moment. And coming here!

Good luck
Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
cos i'm in love with the inner being
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Postby cheese100 » Mon Jan 05, 2004 8:53 pm

hi,I think its great that you have found confidence but you cannot suddenely change overnight.They are feeling negelted and probably didnt know they were doing this to you.You need to be somewhere in between because being over confident can be obnoxious and not confident a push over.Try to talk to them and just try to get to know them again because even though you feel they are using you they probabaly still really like you as a person.remember who you are never changes.cheese xx
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