Telling my competitive friend my news

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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Telling my competitive friend my news

Postby saz » Tue Jan 06, 2004 12:46 pm

Hi i have posted about this girl before - she is really competitive and hard to get along with. Why be friends i know but her and her sister work with me now, so i cant avoid them.

The problem is, i need to tell her that i am pregnant but i dont know how to. I fell pregnant after she did with my last baby, and she thought i was 'copying' her (but didn't say that to my face). She has been trying for a baby for a while and did fall pregnant. She didn't tell anyone until she lost the baby and it was really upsetting and i tried to be there for her.

I think she has guessed what is going on and is being really off with me. I have only told my manager at work so it isn't like she is the last to know and it is so early on i didn't want to announce it yet. I discussed with my manager (who is my mate too) that i thought it would upset this girl and she agreed but is now telling me that i have to tell her before someone else does. My manager and i both dont want an atmosphere but i really think when she finds out she is going to be really upset and angry, thinking i have done it on purpose to upset her, she will take it as a slap in the face not be happy for me.

A while ago she called me after she found out my and my bf had discussed having another child, to tell me that i wouldn't be able to cope it was a bad idea. I was angry at this because she always thinks she knows better, and i know that she is just going to go on and on about how i wont cope making me really miserable - because you start to believe it.

So i dont want to upset her, dont want an atmosphere for 9 long months and dont know how to go about telling her. Any advice?
Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
cos i'm in love with the inner being
saz
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Postby fudge » Tue Jan 06, 2004 1:19 pm

hi
well what i would do is wate a while till your in the "safe" time of your pregnancy that way it gives you time to get used to the idea and gives your friend a bit more time to get over her loss as for her not being happy for you and accusing you of coping then id say just ignore it as long and you and your partner are happy thats all that counts i realise that you dont want to upset her but the fact is people have babys all the time and its something that she will have to get used to just because your a friend of hers it gives her no right to be bitter towards you so stop worring about her and start thinking about you and your baby because at the end of the day thats all that really matters
good luck and congratulations
i have 2 kids and love every minuate and im sure you will to
kind regards
fudge
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Postby saz » Tue Jan 06, 2004 1:35 pm

Thanks for your help. I just dont know how to put the words when i tell her, whether to phone or face to face either. I wish she would just find out from someone else and ask me!
Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
cos i'm in love with the inner being
saz
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Postby fudge » Thu Jan 08, 2004 10:29 am

hello again
i would tell her to her face it would be worse if she heard it from someone else as she might thing that you were delideratly hidding it from her just explain to her first that you have something to tell her and that your finding it hard as you know what shes been through and you dont want to upset her she will either ask you what it is or she will guess and ask you if you are pregnant so either way you will of already explaind to her that you dont want to upset her so it might be a bit easier for you to tell her
good luck i hope it all goes well for you and congratulations
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