Left out by my friends

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Left out by my friends

Postby Raven » Sat Jan 31, 2004 10:23 pm

hiya, *long post alert*

i know i 've written about Gemma etc etc, but i wanna know what everyone thinks about this..

i have a group of 6(ish) friends, and sometimes we have the biggest laughs and it makes me think "wow, i'm so lucky" but today, for example, i felt really miserable. i just felt left out, and whatever i said seemed to go straight through them (i dont think they were intentionally ignoring me, but if i made a joke and no one listened it kind of killed the moment!) i always seem to wind up just walking along with my head down and not saying anything. if i try to say something someone usually gets there before me so their thoughts are directed to someone else...

they just accuse me of being in a mood when im like it.. i just dont feel as if i can tell them, because the last thing i want is them to talk down to me and "try" to include me...

i know they all like me (dont know why but they do!) and we get on well as people, but it really gets me down. sometimes im really happy and we laugh loads, but other times i get so down beyond belief. i might be moving to wales in the summer ( i dont really want to leave all my friends!) but today i thought maybe it's better if i move!

when im in misery mode, i seem to question everything like, do they like me? why are they friends with me? am i too good for them? am i not funny? are our sense of humours totally different? etc etc. i know they're good people, but sometimes i feel left out and dont feel as if i fit in.

ah well, rant over..
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Postby Llisa » Sun Feb 01, 2004 3:31 am

Hey hun,
We all get like that sometimes. We seem to think that everyone else is the problem...but you know what? It's actually us.

The likelyhood is that your friends are treating you the exact same way they always have...but when we get down and in bad moods...the slightest thing can make us feel like we are unwanted.

I.E. - I have this guy friend who I spend a lot of time with. We hand out, drive to events together and stuff like that. We get along really well and have a lot of fun. One time, he came over and started talking to my roomate (who he also knows fairly well). Looking back, I know that I was in a rough mood, having school stress all about me...but I didn't see it that way then. Well he and my roomate talked and talked...and I never siad a word. It went on like this for about 4 hours. I could have said something...they weren't actually ignoring me...but I just felt like he couldn't care less that I was in the room...and that hurt.

Don't try and beat yourself up over this one. You may not agree with me abouty just feeling down at the time...and that's ok. But in regards to moving...hey, you know what? You will make friends in Wales too. Really, you will! Friends are all around you...its up to you to choose which one you want to be the closest. Hope everything turns out ok for you!
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The wait for that perfect someone may be long and painful, but the payoff lasts even longer, and is the most painless thing in the world.
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Postby Godmeister » Sun Feb 22, 2004 8:17 pm

Whilst I agree with most of what Llisa said, I don't think the part about choosing who will be your closest friend is true. Eg, I have always had at least some friends, but not ONE of them has ever considered me to be their closest friend. No matter where I might have been, at primary school, secondary school, 6th form and now university. This 'closest friend' stuff needs to be reciprocated, if it isn't then its meaningless. The friend I consider to be my closest at uni doesnt feel the same way - he has another friend and the two are almost inseparable when they are together.
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Postby cheese100 » Tue Feb 24, 2004 8:57 pm

hi
Sometimes friends can just seem off with you some days and really friendly the next that happens sometimes and if you try to make yourself more noticable than it can push you away again.However if this is getting you really down then you should talk to someone.It is common so they may understand and if you just tell them what you said here they wont act any different.True friends will include you and hopefully it will stay that way, I know what your going through good luck cheese xx
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