Worried about Friend

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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Worried about Friend

Postby *Velvet_Kissies* » Wed Feb 11, 2004 11:30 am

I'm worried about one of my best friends, she used to be really really shy and would hardly kiss anyone then she met her ex boyfriend and she lost her virginity to him last november, they have since broke up and since then she has slept with 5 other people and doesn't seem to care about sex or nothing, sex is just sex to her and its concerning because its so unlike her, she told me the other day that she has slept with 2 different people since sunday..i'm getting worried because its really unlike her. I tried talking to her about it but she doesn't care and says shes just having fun and she knows what shes doing and doesn't see why i'm worried for her...help?
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Postby saz » Wed Feb 11, 2004 3:33 pm

You sound like a good friend, she is lucky that you are looking out for her. Sleeping with lots of people has lots of implications, maybe you just need to point them out to her. Firstly i hope she is looking after her sexual health because there are a lot of STI's out there some of them dont have symptoms but can affect you forever. She should see a doctor or nurse for a check up and get some contraceptive advice.

Other people have no right to be nasty to others just because they lead their life a certain way, but unfortunately people DO judge. No one wants to see her unhappy about what people are saying about her and boys judging her. She doesn't want to get into a situation where men think they can use her for one thing only. Tell her to be careful because what she sees as fun can lead to a lot of heartache long term. An awful lot of people myself included beat themselves up over this in later years, and feel bad about themselves. You dont want to see this happen to her.

If she has low self esteem then maybe she has discovered a way to get attention from men that she never had before, and it makes her feel good. There are plenty of other ways to feel good about yourself. I have been where your friend is now, and believe me it didn't make me feel better even though i thought it would. There is nothing wrong with having fun, but there are lots of other healthier ways to do it.

Reassure her that she is a lovely person and encourage her to get to know men better before sleeping with them. She needs to have respect for herself and be with someone who also respects her. Do lots of things together as friends - if she gets in a situation where she does these things when drunk then encourage her to go out with you to other places (cinema for dinner etc).
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