in love with my friend

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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in love with my friend

Postby shady » Mon Feb 16, 2004 5:27 pm

ive been close friends with a girl online for a year or so now, but lately ive come to realise that i love her more then anything.2 or 3 weeks back i finally told her how i feel tho the answer i got wasnt exactly the one i wanted to hear it didnt seem so bad ,she said that she wasnt interested in being with somebody right now and that she was just enjoying making new friends and that our friendship is something she doesnt wanna lose.this morning i went online and left her a message,she said she had something to tell me.i said ok fire away she said that over the weekend she had got back with her ex and that please could i be ok with that,i love her so much and her friendship is something i cherish,but how can a friendship work out when one of you has feelings for the other.what do i do,please help.
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Postby markh » Mon Feb 16, 2004 8:34 pm

I think you are going to have to get over it. I think she has been friendly with you to get emotional support. She has obviously been thinking about her ex for ages. I know it's hard but you will have to let her go. She obviously doesn't want a relationship with you or she wouldn't have gone back with her ex. I feel a bit cruel telling you this but it seems like the facts.

There also may be some distance between you and she didn't want a long distance relationship. Maybe you should try and find someone closer to home. Also if you truly love her and care for her best interests then you should be happy knowing that she is happy. It will take time for you to get over her but I'm sure you will. Perhaps this advice is of no use to you but it's just my personal opinion of the situation. Anyway take care and good luck in whatever you decide to do.
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Postby Llisa » Mon Feb 16, 2004 8:40 pm

Part of loving someone is wanting the best for them...and wanting them to be as happy as possible.

As much as it may hurt to hear, you may not be the best thing for her, and you may not make her as happy as she could possibly be.

I wish you could get ahold of my ex, and talk to him. Its not a secret that he wishes we could be back together, and I know he loves me more then anything. But the feelings I once had for him are no longer there, and he knows that. He's letting me be who I am, and cherishes the friendship that we have for what it is...and not what it could be.

The best way to deal with this situation is to do just that...enjoy your friendshp with her, and try your best to hink of her just as a friend, and nothing more. If you find that too hard to do...you need to explain to her that you need some time away from talking to her...and then actually take the time away.

You could go into a whole mess of going and meeting her, trying to win her over...but in the end, there's going to be at least one broken heart, and the chances of it being yours are great.

I pray that you find peace with yourself and are able to work this through.
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Postby bigforehead » Wed Feb 18, 2004 3:59 pm

I know what u are goin through. I have fallen in love with a girl and she said "it was not the right time for her". Tell her you don't want it to affect your friendship but you had to say something. Sometimes (and most) it is usually a problem in the person having to deal with the question rather than that who asked the question. It shows your relationship as friends is good though as a weak relationship would not stand this test.
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Postby cheese100 » Thu Feb 19, 2004 8:39 pm

hi
I'm afraid that you may find it too hard to stay friends with this girl if your feelings are too strong.you have two options swollow your feelings for now or move on though its hard good luck cheese xx
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Postby shady » Thu Feb 19, 2004 8:52 pm

talked things thru with her ,and decided that our friendship is something we dont wanna lose .and for me its better that i still have her as a friend then not at all,think i would just spend my days missing her if we never spoke again.
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