I had an arguement with a friend of mine

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I had an arguement with a friend of mine

Postby captainf » Wed Mar 03, 2004 11:11 pm

Hey,

I had an arguement with a very close friend of mine (i'd say shes my best female friend) It was over 2 very silly topics and when I gave my opinion on a certain topic she thought I was actually aiming my opinion at her when I wasn't.

I've said sorry to her, and i've text her alot to explain that I didn't aim my opinion at her, and that I am sorry for hurting her feelings, but I don't think she wants to talk to me. What do I do?

I'd like to see her on Saturday and talk but I think shes going away for the weekend, but I feel really bad about hurting her feelings and i'd really like to make things right. I really miss her now and she means the world to me, the last thing I wanted to do is hurt her as she has been through alot recently and I just want to be there for her. I know i've been abit harsh with people recently as i've felt quite stressed out, but I never wanted to hurt my friend because shes so nice and doesnt deserve that treatment.

Any suggestions as to what I should do?

Ashley
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Postby worstfriend » Thu Mar 04, 2004 10:45 am

Hmmmm, a letter maybe? Or an email, something she can re-read and you can word it carefully so she doesn't get hold of the wrong end of the stick.

It really depends on the topics in question. If they are 'silly' as you suggest, then it is likely that she'll cool off after a few days and realise that you and her don't have to agree an everything under the sun to be good mates. People who are having a tough time can be a bit more sensitive than usual ( because they feel like the whole world is against them) and she probably misunderstood what you were saying and took major offence. If you write (or call if you'd rather) and make sure she knows that you were in no way judging her situation, just making conversation and that the last thing you want to do is hurt her, she'll probably come round.

If it was a more serious topic then it could be that you hit a nerve. A girl i once knew (in school) didn't speak to any of her (until then) best mates for three years (!) because one of them said she disagreed with abortion and the others agreed. It was a throwaway comment after a sex-ed class. They had forgotten that this girl had had an abortion the year before because she was (at 13) to young to consider having a baby. They really weren't judging her. Years later she told me the lesson had brought back horrible memories and feelings of regret and they'd just said the wrong thing at the wrong time.

These things happen. It sounds like you're a good friend and you're certainly concerned enough about her to be worried about your argument. Chances are, she'll realise this before long, and start talking again. Just make sure she knows you're ready to talk whenever she is.

Good Luck

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Postby Fidel » Thu Mar 04, 2004 6:31 pm

Letters and e-mails, in this situation, are the best as you can clear the air without an arguement and there are no interruptions etc. Some people can be a bit too pedantic sometimes and take offence easily but you must try not to hurt their feelings in the e-mail/letter - just play it cool.

Hope it works out mate

Fidel
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Postby cheese100 » Thu Mar 04, 2004 8:36 pm

Hi
I agree that in this you should email or write so you are not there when she reads it and she can really think about things if you tell her what you have said here then I'm sure she will understand.good luck cheese xx
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Postby captainf » Fri Mar 05, 2004 12:29 am

Hey guys,

Thanks very much for the helpful info!

I sent an e-mail to her and she did reply. After a few e-mails and texts, things seem to be alot better, but in a sense shes quite alot like me with regards to having abit of a weak heart when it comes to being offended because I understand that it will probably take some time before she fully feels as comfortable around me as she did before.

I'm so glad that shes talking to me though. I think the world of her and I would have felt really guilty if I had lost her. She makes me smile alot, and I just think shes wonderful.

Thanks very much for the replies, I really appreciate them.

Ashley
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