Scared about the attention at the bus stop

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

Scared about the attention at the bus stop

Postby jensensi » Thu Mar 11, 2004 11:51 am

I may be slightly over reacting over this but just wanted to share the experience and get a few peoples views.
Last night i was waited at the bus stop after work, which i do every week night. I had my headphones on very loud as usual. This black guy (not being racist just giving a description) kept looking at me.
As i had my earphones in i couldnt tell whether he was speaking to me or not, so i took them out and he approached me. Started telling me i looked good and he wanted to buy me a gift and take me out. To which i said thanx, but i have a b/f of three years who i love very much.
He continued to talk to me adding that men like challenges and my b/f was lucky...blah blah.
So anyway he asked if i would be there again to which i say 'well...erm erm sometimes i get a lift with my dad' which is a lie, but i didnt want him to know i would be there again.
Luckily not long after this my bus came. I have never been so glad to see a bus in all my life!
The thing is, he is probably totally harmless and will just talk to me if i see him again, but i dont want to have to talk to and deal with him. i also dont want to have to get on the bus at another stop, i shouldnt have to run scared from someone.
So i am getting my b/f to meet me at my stop so we can get the bus together. and hopefully this guy (if he does turn up) will get the message.
I mean you just dont these days! the worlds a scary place, he could be a mugger or rapist for all i know.

Anyone got an opinions or advice on how to deal with it. I am being silly and should just accept the compliment??
User avatar
jensensi
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 34
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2004 11:47 am
Location: Nottingham

Postby Enigma » Thu Mar 11, 2004 12:22 pm

You're not being silly. A couple of years ago, I was waiting at a bus depot and a man approached me asking if I wanted to go with him to "somewhere more private." I thanked him for the offer, told him I had a girlfriend, but was quite persistent despite my objections. When I boarded the bus, the man followed me on and went to sit next to me. I motioned that I wasn't happy with this, but then he sat directly behind me. I was worried because for this particular journey I board at the depot and then alight the bus at the final stop.

My plan was that if the man was still sat behind me when the bus was to approach the final stop, I would either tell the driver I'm not getting off or dismount and then run to the McDonalds I worked for at the time. I also got in touch with a friend by text message to let them know of my situation. Fortunately the man got off the bus a few stops before mine.

I think his intention was to follow me, but he realised that I was either purposefully staying on the bus or that my stop was toward the end of the journey. Another experience I had was quite recently. In a bus journey home, a man sat beside me - notably close. I dismissed it, until the man asked if I wanted to go back to his flat for sex. I thanked him for the offer, but advised that I would not do that. The man apologised: I told him he hadn't done anything wrong, but it's just that I had rejected his request.

I am male by the way, so my stories show that this sort of thing can happen to all of us: whether we're men or women, gay or straight, single or in a relationship.
Enigma
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2084
Joined: Mon Sep 02, 2002 12:36 am
Location: Greater Manchester, UK
Gender: Male

Postby smile » Thu Mar 11, 2004 12:42 pm

Hiya,

When something like that happens it can make us feel a bit uneasy and less sure of ourselves. I think you did the right thing by telling your boyfriend about it and gradually you will start to feel more confident about getting the bus on your own again.

It's very likely that it was just a one off but for now I can understand that you are a little apprehensive about it. I would be.

I always carry my phone in my coat pocket, therefore it something does happen I can reach in and dial a friends number or 999 without pullling out my phone so as not to make it obvious.

After a while you wil start to feel more confident about being at the bus stop by yourself.

Take care,

Smile
When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.

Just remember to keep smiling!
smile
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2491
Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2002 6:01 pm
Location: Do you really really really want to know?

Postby jensensi » Thu Mar 11, 2004 1:06 pm

Thanx for your replies.
It funny how many odd people you can meet on buses and at bus stops. They seam to attract the weirdos.
My friend advised me to carry a personal alarm, not just because of this, but for any dangerous situation, which i will probably start doing.

Thanks again, will update you if anything happens again.
User avatar
jensensi
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 34
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2004 11:47 am
Location: Nottingham

Postby saz » Fri Mar 12, 2004 7:46 am

There are a lot of cocky blokes out there, full of confidence who dont think twice about asking a random girl out because they feel like it so it may be more that than he is a weirdo! All the same his advances made you feel really uncomfortable and he should have realised this but instead his huge ego (he obviously doesn't get turned down that much lol he thinks he is georgeous) carried on!

I have been out with my mates once in a pub and a bloke stared at me for 2 hours before coming over. He asked to buy me a drink, i said no and he got stroppy saying i had been staring. I told him i was staring back cos he was staring and in the end he left but it was so annoying.

I also got followed home about 10pm on night when i was 15 by a car that drove up and down slowing when it got near me. In the end i ran in a bush ready to knock on someones door. make sure you aren't alone in a dark place where you can't get help, always have people with you and tell them where you are going. The alarms are good they also make you feel safer and they are really loud if you do set it off!!!
Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
cos i'm in love with the inner being
saz
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2109
Joined: Sun Aug 10, 2003 7:23 pm
Location: Essex

Postby smile » Fri Mar 12, 2004 9:14 am

This site may be of interest to you Jensensi.

http://www.alarmsandstuff.co.uk/index.html
When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.

Just remember to keep smiling!
smile
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2491
Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2002 6:01 pm
Location: Do you really really really want to know?

Postby jensensi » Fri Mar 12, 2004 9:51 am

I went back to the bus stop last night, with my b/f.
Thank god he was there cos the guy turned up this time with two mates!!!
I am sure if Bryn was not there this guy would have approached me again and probably brought his mates to.
One guy and you stand a chance of getting away, three guys you have very little chance.
He crossed the road walked by me smiled and walked back to his mates.
It could be that he just like me, but you just dont know. Not only am i worried for my saftey but i also carry my purse, my phone and my stereo and CDs with me. He could want to rob me.
I am even more aprehensive and worried now, so much so i will get a lift with my dad.
There are other bus stops i can go to, but it just annoys me because i shouldnt have to go out of my way cos some guy wants to keep hasling me!
Hopefully it will blow over and he will get the picture.
User avatar
jensensi
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 34
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2004 11:47 am
Location: Nottingham

Postby Flutegirl » Fri Mar 12, 2004 11:33 am

Yeah I think you have every right to be a little bit nervous but I woulnd't get yourself into a panic over it. I think you are doing the best thing getting a lift with your dad. It can be scary enough waiting for a bus on your own at night without some stranger making you feel even more nervous.

If it was me, I would definetely be getting a lift with my dad or finding an alternative way home. The problem is with strangers these days that it's soo hard to tell the nice ones who are just being friendly from the ones with more sinister intentions. Don't take any chances!!

love Flutegirl
After all you put me through you'd think I'd depise you but in the end I'm gonna thank you cause you made me that much stronger
Flutegirl
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
 
Posts: 71
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2004 11:28 am
Location: Northern Ireland


Return to Friends

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests

cron