she stole from me

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she stole from me

Postby loza » Mon Apr 12, 2004 8:19 pm

i have been friends with 'A' for nearly two years-we did everything together-best friends.

a week ago just before i went on holiday i found that i had lost my bank card. i hadnt got any money out for the bank 2wks before that so was worried and cancelled the card stright away.

when i got back from my holiday friday i had my bank statement and was £150 withdrawed off my card in £80, £20 £10 £20 £20. i no i hadnt had my card on these days cos for the first two i was still at college and the last one was the day i couldnt find my card.

i rang the helpline and ask the lady where the withdrawels had been made. all colchester.
now trhe thing is only my close friends would no where i keep my bank number-and thats only 3 people. and only one lives in colchester my best friend.

i couldnt believe it so rang her up and asked her if she had taken my card-she sed she hadnt. when i was still on the phone my mum walked in and sed she would get the fraud squad to look at the cash points to find out who it was. i told this to A and told her not to worry.

she then txt me about 1 second after saying she needed to talk to me- and guess wot she admitted it. but even then she just told me cos she didnt wont to get in trouble, my life really bad etc etc

so u see even if her life is so bad why did she have to steal my card, use it when i was around her, she even payed for lunch with my money for me!

should i forgive her cos i dont think i can

Post edited by Enigma on 12 April 2004: minor amendment.
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eeerr

Postby Hollie. » Mon Apr 12, 2004 8:23 pm

OMG! i cant believe she has done that. i wud neva 4give my bestfriend!!
i think u shud move on and leeve her behind
"A" is a scumbag and doesnt deserve you!
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Postby Fidel » Mon Apr 12, 2004 10:47 pm

It was a bad thing to do but you must find a way to forgive her and so that she learned a lesson from it

Post edited by Enigma on 12 April 2004: minor amendment.
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Postby daveshow » Tue Apr 13, 2004 12:46 am

if my best mate did that i would want the money back at least and i would make it known that you arnt sure about being friends anymore because of the trust u had in her
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Postby saz » Tue Apr 13, 2004 9:54 am

I am sorry to hear about what has happened. It is horrible to think that someone could do that to you and worse when it is someone you trust.

It is very important that in future you dont keep your bank number anywhere. You are supposed to memorise it and destroy the paper or you could give it to your mum to keep. Dont let anyone get money out on your card and if you do, then change the number.

Back to your friend, for you to build a relationship back up again i think she has to accept that it isn't good enough to use excuses and she has to just own up, be responsible for her actions and very sorry. It will take you a while to trust her again but if you feel she isn't sorry and you can't trust her then perhaps she just isn't a true friend at the moment. If she thinks her own problems are worse than stealing from her friend she has some serious issues and it is up to her to work those out, not for you to feel guilty about it.

You dont say how the money is going to be repaid but if it were me, dont let her off because then how will she ever learn not to do it? If someone does something like that and then get away with it it doesnt teach them anything. If she doesn't like the fact that she has to repay you that isn't your fault. Make an agreement with her mum and your mum about being repaid.

In the meantime perhaps a break from seeing her for a while would help because i imagine that you are very angry and it would be best to calm down. Try talking to her in a few days and discuss it calmly. Good luck.
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Postby LoVe BuG » Tue Apr 13, 2004 9:21 pm

I think you should forgive her but only if she pays you all the money back and promises not to do it again but if she does do it again then I would never forgive her a second time.
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Postby Fidel » Tue Apr 13, 2004 9:36 pm

well, money isn't really the factor here I hope - it's on a moral level
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Postby markh » Tue Apr 13, 2004 9:39 pm

I would give her another chance. However you need to tell her how disappointed and frustrated you are that someone who is supposed to be your friend would do this. You should now change your PIN number and tell nobody what it is.
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Postby xxemxx » Tue Apr 13, 2004 10:07 pm

No friendship is perfect and all friends are going to let you down at some point. You can either forgive her, or ditch her. If I was you i wud ditch her because i think you can do much better! She obviously can't care about you that much because the only reason she came clean with you was to get herself out of trouble. Do wateva u feel is right- just remember that *A* is lucky 2 hav u as a m8 not the other way round, if u stay friends with her make sure u are not used like this eva again by her. :bounce: .
Hope this helped you xxx

Post edited by Enigma on 14 April 2004: disrespectual slang is not welcome here.
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Postby Enigma » Wed Apr 14, 2004 1:57 am

Your friend has done something wrong, that's right, but we all make mistakes! For your friend to steal from you there must be something significantly wrong, and it's likely that your friend needs you now more than usually. So, I advise that you don't dismiss your friend because of her behaviour, but that you should try and look into the cause of that behaviour and do whatever you can to help.
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Postby Hollie. » Thu Apr 15, 2004 5:59 pm

all of you say that loza shud 4give *a*, but u dont no wat she is reeli like as a frend. i do.
look at this:
phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=3210&highlight=

hope this changes ure mind!
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Postby Enigma » Thu Apr 15, 2004 6:35 pm

That's right, we don't know what the other person is like. We hear one side of the story and work on being objective about that. Opinions that are posted are to help members think about the various aspects of a given scenario and the options we believe they have to choose from in order to resolve it.
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Postby loza » Thu Apr 15, 2004 7:43 pm

thanks for so many replys,

she sed she would give me the money back on her next pay day-which is tuesday. i need that money back-im not rich at all and so £150 is a big sum for me.

i havnt talked to her since and she hasnt tried to talk to me. the problem is even if i did see her again my parents hate her. and so does eveyone else in the college-not because of this money thing but because they say she treats me badly.

when i see her on tuesday im gonna ask why she took the money etc to try to get my head around this.

thanks again
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Postby -=-COOL-COOKIE-=- » Sun Apr 18, 2004 7:24 pm

Hope everything turns out OK. I just want to say that I don't think your parents and the people you work with have the right to hate her because you don't know why she took it. I know that she shouldn't have done it but if she is a really close friend I'm sure she had a reason. :)
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