why is she like this?

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

why is she like this?

Postby loo » Wed Jan 05, 2005 6:48 pm

hey me and my best friends have been best friends for about 4 years and we do everything together, but just recently she has started copying me! sounds pathetic i know!
if we go shopping and i say i like something but can't afford it at the time she'll have bought it by the next time i see her. if i say i like someone she'll do her best to flirt with then to make them like her more than me. she is stunning by the way!!
i've recently met someone and we get on really and i really like him and thought he liked me and he came to see me over xmas and kissed me and told me he did like me. i asked him if he wanted to meet my best friend and he reluctantly agreed and was happy that they got on. i saw him again new years eve and again we got together and my friend was there. new years day i saw my friend and she told me she had started to have feelings for him.
i don't want them to see each other again because i really want him for myself, i know it sounds soo selfish and not what a best friend should be like but i can't help it i just dont get why she cant have someone else because there are so many good looking lovely blokes after her but all she seems to want is the ones that i want or am with.
loo
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 34
Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2004 8:50 pm

Postby lilessexgal » Thu Jan 06, 2005 5:22 pm

first i thing i will say is have you actually told her or asked her why she is doing it and that it is upsetting you because maybe she doesnt realise she is hurting your feelings! and you cant just keep your best friend away (well you can but that is a bit harsh) if this boy likes you like he told you he did he wont want anything in that way to do with your best friend!
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
Image
[/url]
User avatar
lilessexgal
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1938
Joined: Fri Dec 17, 2004 10:21 pm
Location: Essex

Postby nothings_shocking » Thu Jan 06, 2005 10:44 pm

it seems like she is jealous of what you have. It seems that she wants to be you, you are like a role model in her life and possibly she looks up to you. I think she may just need to be sat down and asked if there is anything she needs to talk about and possibly break it to her slowly asking her why? I think your honesty with her will keep you best friends.
Let us know how it goes x x x
Image
nothings_shocking
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1521
Joined: Sun Dec 19, 2004 10:34 pm
Location: Basingstoke

Postby SugarRainbows » Sat Jan 15, 2005 8:54 pm

ok so shes bugging you and why wouldnt you want this guy for yourself? You saw him first afterall.
Well does she know shes bugging you? because if she doesnt then she will most likely think your fine with her doing this, if you tell her then she can change her behaviour. Thing is you cant get away with not telling her because she will just keep copying until she gets bored, which could be for any length of time. You could maybe take her shopping and drop hints to get your point across, tell her 'that top looks great on you', 'it suits your hair colour/eyes/figure' Maybe this way she will buy things that are different and arent your style and start to develope a style of her own rather than copying. She obviously respects your opinion as shes been copying you and so will take on board what you tell her about things shes trying on.
About the guy thing, if your a good friend of someone you shouldnt really go after their guy unless they say its ok. So have you considerd telling her your uncomfortable with her liking him and suggest that you get her to meet one of your guys friends or something so she gets her own guy?
Bottleing it up without telling her will just make you more angry. Hope it goes ok :)
User avatar
SugarRainbows
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
 
Posts: 529
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 10:55 pm

Postby pinkykilledsnuffy » Sun Jan 16, 2005 2:55 am

I know exactly what you're going through.

My best friend also copies me; but she tries to better me at it. If i like something; she likes it, but oh no, she's *got* to like it more than me. She's admitted to being jealous of me (im prettier, skinier etc apparently) and so that's where i conclude this problem stems from.

I don't know about you, but in my situation it would be difficult and would prbably worsen things if i asked her why she did it. She either wouldn't admit it and think im big headed for suggesting it, or get embarrassed and touchy about the whole thing and this would probably insure further arguments.

The only thing i can suggest is trying to help her find her own individuality; you've got to accept however that she's probably always going to admire you and therefore copy you, but if you help her find out what SHE likes then it should help the problem a little; why not suggest tops that you (truthfully) think looks good on her that you don't want to buy for yourself, perhaps she'l continue this style and perhaps copy less.

And with the whole guy situation; you are definately not being selfish! my best friend liked my boyfriend (before we started going out) but he liked me; i talked to her about it first (perhaps thats what you should do; ask her if it's ok if you two start a relationship), so she felt included, then decided that i shouldn't be prevented from happiness by someone who's meant to be my best friend..so go ahead, and don't feel bad!
To sleep, perchance to dream
User avatar
pinkykilledsnuffy
Just Landed
Just Landed
 
Posts: 9
Joined: Thu Jan 13, 2005 9:03 pm
Location: UK

i am such a witch!

Postby loo » Sun Jan 16, 2005 7:51 pm

hey again. well my friend got the guy!! i wasnt really too bothered about it because i just see him as a friend now and we are really close in that way.
the thing is though one night when my friend couldn't come out i went out with her boyfriend instead and he kept buying my drinks for me and we both ended up absolutely wasted. he kept saying he wanted sex but i said no because i couldn't do that to my best friend and it would also ruin what me and him had just started to get friend-wise. he kept kissing me on the way home trying to get my to sleep with him but i resisted.
do i tell her about this and ruin the happiness she's got with him or keep it quiet and forget about it?
loo
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 34
Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2004 8:50 pm

Postby SugarRainbows » Sun Jan 16, 2005 7:56 pm

Its not fair for her to be with this guy if hes so willing to cheat on her, if you tell her then she can make her own desicion and if you dont tell her and she finds out then she will blame you for not telling her. Its not worth risking your close friendship over
User avatar
SugarRainbows
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
 
Posts: 529
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 10:55 pm

Postby sparkly_star » Sun Jan 16, 2005 8:11 pm

He doesn't sound like a decent guy anyway, going out with one girl and then asking another for sex.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
User avatar
sparkly_star
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
 
Posts: 942
Joined: Thu Dec 16, 2004 10:04 pm
Location: Essex, UK
Gender: Female

Postby lilessexgal » Sun Jan 16, 2005 8:14 pm

i personally think you should kepp your mate! because if you keep what he has been saying to you secret it could make things worse and also your allowing her to then go out with a jerk!
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
Image
[/url]
User avatar
lilessexgal
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1938
Joined: Fri Dec 17, 2004 10:21 pm
Location: Essex

Postby whoopsie » Tue Jan 18, 2005 12:01 am

seems you had a lucky escape! he probably would've done this to you. If you tell your matey tho, she might think you're jealous that she got him and not you. gotta make her realise this is not the case. hopefully she's as good a friend as you and will see that you're looking out for her
User avatar
whoopsie
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 499
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 8:13 pm
Location: Surrey
Gender: Female

Postby loo » Tue Jan 18, 2005 7:58 pm

hey i told her and she just laughed and admitted that we'd both been stupid so we're back to normal and i've mentioned the copying thing and she's says she doesn't realise she's doing it half the time and will try and stop
so everything is now cool!
loo
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 34
Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2004 8:50 pm

Postby lilessexgal » Tue Jan 18, 2005 8:00 pm

im glad of that! and glad you are happy! :D :D
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
Image
[/url]
User avatar
lilessexgal
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1938
Joined: Fri Dec 17, 2004 10:21 pm
Location: Essex

Postby SugarRainbows » Tue Jan 18, 2005 8:03 pm

yey!! so everythings good in the end :D
User avatar
SugarRainbows
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
 
Posts: 529
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 10:55 pm


Return to Friends

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron