Friend has BO problem

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Friend has BO problem

Postby elfy_p » Sun Jan 30, 2005 11:13 am

One of my closest friends has a really bad problem with BO....... all our friends have noticed it (you cant not notice it) and its getting to the point where she goes into a room and people open the windows. I dont think she showers much as her hair's usually greasy too.
I dont know what to do about this, but someone needs to tel her before she finds out of some nasty person at college.
How do you tell someone that she really stinks?
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Postby Moose » Sun Jan 30, 2005 12:48 pm

You have to think about whether you would want to be told. I know I would.

I think the best way is to say it when it is just the two of you. You could ask her what deodorant she wears, and when she says 'none' say "Perhaps you should get some, because sometimes you seem to sweat a bit" ........... or be more direct and say you don't want to hurt her feelings but you need to tell her, as her friend, that she does smell of BO. Mention it once, and don't dwell on it.

Or, you could bottle out and ask a teacher to say something.

My friend used to work for me (she was my friend before I was her line manager), and one day she came into work reeking of garlic. It was really awful, and I mean awful. Not just a bit of garlic, which we all eat from time to time... it was bad (you get the point). Anyway, she was a rep, and had to go and see shop managers and stuff. My boss got me in, and made me tell her she stank. I didn't say that, I just said "Did you have garlic for your tea last night?" and she started laughing and said "Why, do I stink of it?" So your friend might already know she has a problem, but maybe she doesn't know how bad it is.


Good luck.
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Postby elmo24 » Sun Jan 30, 2005 12:53 pm

I think it's best if one of your group tells her, not the whole lot as she'll feel embarrassed. Make sure you're away from others and just say that you've something to tell her and it's cos you appreciate her friendship (and want to be able to trust each other) that you're mentioning it, but

EITHER: what deodorant is she using at the moment? This way you've broached the subject without mentioning body odour. If she says she doesn't use any, then say that you all do and she probably should too; if she just names a brand, mention that you know a few people who it didn't work for. She might need a better deodorant such as Mitchum (tackles problem BO).

OR: get straight to the point, I don't want to offend you, but I've noticed your body odour sometimes when we've been in lessons.

Hope that helps :wink:
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Postby lilessexgal » Sun Jan 30, 2005 12:54 pm

i agree with Moose! if i was her i would want to be told so i could try and help myself! but tell it too her softly as to not hurt her feelings!
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Postby elmo24 » Sun Jan 30, 2005 12:56 pm

Moose, I think we're telepathic!! :lol: We've written near identical advice to elfy_p....
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Postby lilessexgal » Sun Jan 30, 2005 12:57 pm

in that case i agree with both Moose and elmo24!
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Postby arwen » Tue Feb 01, 2005 4:32 pm

Good advice all round but elfy, make sure you are VERY careful with her feelings... this sort of thing could really affect someone so be as kind as possible.

Wen xx
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Postby BlueRayman » Wed Feb 02, 2005 4:26 pm

This is a really easy problem.. If she was a he, to a guy you can just say "yo man put so Instant shower on or throw them a can and nod.

Maybe just tell her "I have to say something, I'm going to be blunt and to the point on this ok... You've got a BO problem, its not bad and I don't think anybody else has notised, but as your friend I thought I should tell you."

Do it somewhere like at your house or hers, somewhere private.
I know everybody has noticed but DON'T LETT HER KNOW THAT!!!!

Hope that helps alittle
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Postby Llisa » Thu Feb 03, 2005 4:40 am

A lot of people do become oblivious to how they smell.

If you notice, when you enter into another person's house, you will notice a distinct smell...whether it be good or bad...it's just how the smell of the family/house is.

I know i used to live on a farm and I could walk into the barn and not notice anything, but I had some friends who couldn't stand to go anywhere near it because they said it smelled so bad. I had jus been around it so much it smelled normal to me.

This is likely the case with your friend. Like everyone else has said, broach the subject carefully and privately! Lead it up with a funny story about this girl that lived on a farm and never even noticed how bad her barn smelled ;). Then go into an explanation of it all...good luck, but be tactful!
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Postby leelee4love » Thu Feb 03, 2005 3:59 pm

personally I would tell her, I id by her a nice perfume set, its one thing telling a mate that her clothes look rubbish because that is a matter of opinion, she wouldnt get offended, but if you tell her she smells she will feel jelly, buy her perfume and say all the men love it, someone wil tell her one day and at least it wasnt u who hurt her feelings
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Postby SugarRainbows » Thu Feb 03, 2005 5:23 pm

have to say i agree with BlueRayman
but it would be worse to not tell your friend because if someone else does, it might be really harshly and make them real upset then they might blame you for not saying anything
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Postby Moose » Sun Feb 06, 2005 5:32 pm

leelee4love wrote:personally I would tell her, I id by her a nice perfume set, its one thing telling a mate that her clothes look rubbish because that is a matter of opinion, she wouldnt get offended, but if you tell her she smells she will feel jelly, buy her perfume and say all the men love it, someone wil tell her one day and at least it wasnt u who hurt her feelings


If you do buy her a set of some sort, make sure it's deodorant, not just perfume, or you will then be suffering the combination of BO and perfume (grim).
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Postby becca1984 » Tue Mar 08, 2005 3:01 pm

If you are a true friend to this girl then you would come out to this and tell her, because if she hears it from someone else than she will wonder why her close friends have not told her. My advice to you love is to just tell her. I know it's not an easy thing to do but it will be better in the long run. Hope this helps xxx

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Postby elfy_p » Fri Mar 11, 2005 8:58 pm

One of our group has spoken to her and the problem seems to have gone away, and its been a few weeks now :D
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Postby lilessexgal » Sat Mar 12, 2005 12:30 pm

thats great to hear! and i take it she didnt take it the wrong way!?
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