How do i make friends???am i sad???

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How do i make friends???am i sad???

Postby paganstar » Wed Feb 09, 2005 8:25 pm

Iv got no friends really since i was with my husband.I would love a night out,but i dont no anyone,iv lived at my address for 4 years 3 and a half of those years i spent working so i no no one,i go to the school and take and collect my kids but i no no one,its got to that state now where i thinking is this life??its so dam boring i no they say lifes what you make it but hay i cant go up to a complete stranger and say "hi fancy a night out"people would think im a werido, :( i feel very down,iv no family apart from my kids,any surgestions i must sound really sad!!but i could really do with some friends right now,im waiting for my divorce to come through
an ye harm none do as ye will
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Postby lilessexgal » Wed Feb 09, 2005 9:52 pm

arent there any like you know local group things where you could go along and meet new people!? go to like a dance place or aerobics place or even somewhere like bingo places like these are where you can make lots of new friends!
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Postby SugarRainbows » Wed Feb 09, 2005 10:27 pm

Yea i agree with lilessexgal
also have you tried striking up conversation with some of the mums at school? it may feel weird and embarrasing and you might be shy but its worth a try cuz u might meet some wonderful people you wouldnt have met otherwise :)
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Postby saz » Wed Feb 09, 2005 10:35 pm

Paganstar i really know where you are coming from.

I moved from my hometown 4 years ago, and moved again 2 years ago. Where i live now i dont know hardly anyone and have stuggled to make friends. I got friendly with girls i work with, who have kids, also went to the health visitor clinic a lot and met mums and went to every single mother and baby group going. I therefore have lots of 'mummy' friends and do daytime stuff but not much evening things. No one wants to go out!

I know you are probably going to go 'noooo' but have you considered single nights? There are actually places you can go if you are a single parent to meet other parents. Look in your local newspaper, mine has listings for this sort of thing and it isn't dating it is friendship. There is also an association called GINGERBREAD which is for single parents, male and female. Also Meet a Mum Association - look this up on the net, i have been through this and they put you in touch with mums in your area, who you can then befriend and possibly go out with.
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Postby paganstar » Wed Feb 09, 2005 11:32 pm

I find it hard to make friends with people,people i have made friends with in the past have only bothered when theres some thing in it for them,and it makes me very warey,most of the mums around the school are a lot younger than me,or happly married and wouldnt want to go out,i do hope things in my life pick up soon i feel so isolated
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Postby Still_in_Chains » Thu Feb 10, 2005 8:20 am

Sites like this were designed for people with dilemmas such as yours. Give it a go. Sharon will make you feel very welcome http://www.friendsyourway.co.uk/

Good luck
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Postby arwen » Thu Feb 10, 2005 10:27 am

The gym is a great place to meet new people and get fit at the same time!
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Postby umistgirl » Wed Feb 16, 2005 1:35 pm

i feel for you so much! I am in exactly the same position. My 'friends' all seem to move on and leave me behind, or they seem to have their own friends who they prefer to spend time with and now i am left with no one.

Everyone suggests joining clubs or taking up hobbies, but it just doesnt work like that. Like you, i go to work everyday, i go horse riding, i go to uni, i am a member of loads of societies and groups...but whenever i make the effort to create a friendship outside of those situations everyone is too busy, or already has enough friends etc.

A while back i joined a gym... and i was sat on an exercise bike and a lady came over and sat next to me. She was on her induction and the gym instructor was asking her to check off a list of why she was joining the gym, she answered yes to all the usual 'want to lose weight' etc but when it came to the 'meet new people' question she smiled and said 'not really, i alreayd have a large group of friends'...this is the way I (and probably you) see other people hence we never approach them. You may think 'why would they wanna be friends with me'/'they probably have loads of friends wh they have known since school'...

I have been 'rejected' so many times that my confidence has now been battered that much that i wont try again - i'm just trying to be happy accepting that i am on my own, sometimes its just so frustrating because i know that i would be a loyal and generous friend. Before you get to this stage- please please try all the suggestions that people on here give, even if you don't gain any friends at least you know you have tried.

My fiance reminds me though that like love, you make friends often when you are least expecting it so try and chill out a bit and hope that something just turns out without attaching too much importance to it!


I know what you mean about it making you feel like you are sad though. It makes me feel like a right loser, not every day, but when you want a girly chat or to go shopping or there are situations where you feel pressured to have friends...my wedding is stressing me out. i dont even have anyone to go on a hen night with! i know all my family and all my fiances family will be looking on the 'bride's side of the isle and wondering where my friends are, its so embarrasing to admit you have no friends because it makes you look like a failure, it doesnt make you a bad person though.

I'm sorry there hasn't been much in the way of practical advice but I thought it might be useful to know that there are other people out there who feel like you, you are not a freak!

Take care
tracey :-)
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