what should i do?

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what should i do?

Postby just_me » Fri Feb 11, 2005 12:35 am

i have a really big problem that i need help with, all replies are apprieciated. its pretty long winded, but things need to be explained

My best friend is pregnant and she is getting married to the father, she doesnt know when but they are getting married.

They used to go out but they broke up when she cheated on him with one of her best mates. this was after he had cheated on her with 4 different girls which she had forgiven him for.

when the baby was concieved, they were not in a relationship, they got drunk at a party and one thing led to another. when she found out she was expecting, she was going to get rid of it and not tell him, but after she told him he persuaded her to keep it and he said he would look after her.

while they were not together, me and this boy met up in secret a few times, or i would have people round to my house for drinks and he would stay over afterwards. anyway we would always mess around with each other and we slept together twice, both times were before they got back together, the second time was after she got pregnant but he didnt know, and they were not getting back together. and i know it was wrong of me, but a bottle of vodka later an i lost all my inhibitions

A few days ago, we went to an Ann Summers party and when we got back he had gone to my house to see my brother cos they're mates, anyway my friend got tired so i said i would drive her home and her boyfriend said he wanted to stay and carry on playing computer games with my brother.

I got home after i dropped her off and they were still playing games, after a while i said i was going to bed to watch a video and he said he would come and sit with me if i wanted him to, which i did, but only innocently, which i thought was his frame of mind as well.

We both fell asleep watching telly and at some point in the night he started fingering me. I was totally asleep and had no idea until he got on top of me after removing my pants and his own pants. it was the weight of him on me which made me realise what was going on and wake up.

It made me feel so dirty, he had actually tried to have sex with me while i was asleep. I got out of the bed and went to sit in the bathroom for about an hour.

Now i dont know what to do. I really dont want her to marry this guy because i know what he is capable of, he will cheat on her whether the other person is willing or not, and she knows he has cheated on her before, but she doesnt know about anything that has gone on between us, i also dont want her to get any stress while she is pregnant incase it causes her problems.
but if i do tell her she may finish with him and then the baby has no father, and she has to do it on her own
my biggest worry though, is that she will believe him over me as he is leaving to join the army soon and she needs me to help her with the baby

if anyone has any suggestions what i should do then please reply.
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Postby flutterby » Fri Feb 11, 2005 1:44 am

hiya i think that you should tell your friend because she has the right to know and although stress can cause problems in pregnancy it is better that she knows this now than you wait and she gets mad at you for leaving it. but if you do tell her u have to be prepared that she might forgiive him yet again as that is what i ahve done with my husband and the father of my child :P stupid really but anyway just thought i would reply to you
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Postby Llisa » Fri Feb 11, 2005 1:49 am

Hey hun,

Wow, this is a sticky situation for you to be in, that's for sure. Even though it will be hard, you definitly need to tell your friend what has happened. Whether she decides to marry the guy anyways will be up to her. But at least you need to open her eyes and let her know what's going on.
I'm sure hoping that she'd see what kind of a scumbag this guy is and not marry him, despite the fact that she's carrying his child. He's not fit or ready to be a father.

Best of luck love, will be praying for you!

*Llisa*
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The wait for that perfect someone may be long and painful, but the payoff lasts even longer, and is the most painless thing in the world.
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Postby Buffy » Sat Feb 12, 2005 1:36 pm

Llisa is right this guy is not ready to be a father, he needs to come round to the thought of actually being a father and this may take some time. do you have any feelings for him? because you two need to talk and work something out, try to get some sense into him if not you need to mention something to your friend dont let her get hurt . and chin up hun :)
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Postby JennaXXX » Sat Feb 12, 2005 2:33 pm

I think you should tell your friend. She certainly wont be happy but its better to find out now rather then a few years down the line.
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thanks guys

Postby just_me » Sun Feb 13, 2005 11:40 pm

hey just wanna thank everyone who replied to my post, i have decided not to tell my friend although every1 says i shud. i have thought about it and i know she needs me an i cant risk losin her as a mate, i know he wont tell her and so she will never find out. its not going to happen again but if i find out about him doing anything wrong ever again then i will tell her
thanx very much
just me xox
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