One of the lads

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One of the lads

Postby scattybird26 » Fri Feb 18, 2005 2:22 pm

Hello,

I've always been know down at my local pub as one of the lads, as i'm always with the guys, chatting bout fottie, rugby, motor racing, golf and making comments about girls (i'm not gay or bisexual).

The thing is the pub was taken over about 2 months ago by new people, and they have come in and got involved with the crowd that i drink with. The thing is the manager, treats me like the other lads and we get on well, he thinks i'm one of the lads, my problem is that he is gorgeous. =P~

We have flirted, but as he is of doing his mingling as part of his job when i look to where he is, he is looking straight at me.

I'm not ugly and i'm no oil painting, i don't know what to do as he has said i'm one of the lads. Do i say something, or do i just keep being one of the lads #-o
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Postby nothings_shocking » Fri Feb 18, 2005 2:46 pm

Maybe you should 'wow!' him. Then he may think that you are just not 'one of the lads' Perhaps dress differently? or just change a part of you like...your hair straight instead of curly vice versa (dependant on length of hair really). I think just changing a little part of you every so often may make him notice...
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Postby mew_mew_kitten » Fri Feb 18, 2005 4:46 pm

I agree, maybe you could just make slight changes to your appearance, he may pick up on it and see you in a different light?
Otherwise, I wouldn't stop hanging around with the lads, or change the person you are, because at the end of the day, if you do change who you are just to please him and he likes it, you're the one who will have to keep pretending who you are.
If he's interested, he'll like you for who you are. Maybe you could drop some slight hints? He may be too shy to make a move and he's waiting for you to!
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Postby captainf » Sat Feb 19, 2005 3:06 pm

You could try flirting with him abit and see how he reacts. If he keeps looking at you he maybe interested. However, do you know if he is single or not?

If he is single, try flirting with him, and if that goes well, try asking him out some time ;)
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Postby SugarRainbows » Sat Feb 19, 2005 6:02 pm

Yea it sounds like hes a little interested anyway so doing something to make you stand out from the crowd and the lads would probably be worthwhile.

If he works there when he goes behind the bar or whatever could you follow him and try striking up a conversation? It doesnt have to be an intense thing, just a chat so you get to speak to him on your own and then ask if hed like to go out for a drink sometime? If you dont ask you dont get ;)
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Postby lilessexgal » Sat Feb 19, 2005 8:05 pm

yeah try flirting back but not full on flirting start off a little bit and see how he reacts! the fact that you get on really well with the lads might make him like you more!
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Postby Moose » Sun Feb 20, 2005 1:04 pm

I like the idea of changing your appearance for one night when you go in there, to get his attention properly.

Hopefully, this will get a reaction, and it will either be:

1. Wow - you look amazing (Cue drooling etc)
2. How come you've changed your appearance? I really liked how you looked before.
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Postby all_apologies » Sun Feb 20, 2005 2:48 pm

Maybe he likes the fact that you are one of the lads, i.e. maybe this is the kind of trait he looks for in prospective partners. Just because you're into the same things as all your male friends doesn't make you "a lad" to this man, he's proabably attracted to you because you're likely to share his interests. He sounds as if he's physically attractied to you too, by the way he's always looking at you.

As suggested, make an effort on the physical side to wow him, but don't attempt to downplay the fact that you're in with the male crowd. It sounds to me that this is what he likes about you.
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Postby Laurajane » Mon Feb 21, 2005 12:47 am

yeah definitely sound advice
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Postby scattybird26 » Tue Feb 22, 2005 3:24 pm

The thing is i don't dress like one of the lads, i dress like any other normal girl, jeans, tight tops, skirts. So i do dress feminine. Things have progressed slightly with a late night drink in the pub on Friday night.

There were about 5 of us left in the pub and me being the only female we got down to a debate about how blokes can't work out women women from venus men from mars kind of thing. Me and this guy chatted for ages as the night went on me and him was just left in the pub.

We talked about past relationships and he has recently just come out of one and not ready for anything serious, but he made it obvious that he is attracted to me :D

Ever since that night we have been texting each other, but he now treats me differently he has changed not in a nasty way, but its not the same. What do i do now i haven't had the chance to ask him why he is acting differently what do you lot think.
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Postby captainf » Tue Feb 22, 2005 3:40 pm

Hey

Maybe he is acting abit differently because as you say he made it obvious that he is attracted to you, and now he is being a little reserved about it. When he made it obvious, did you also make it obvious that you liked him too?

I think taking it slowly is the key solution. He has just come out of a relationship and isn't after anything serious. This is because he is still trying to heal the wounds of his past relationship. What you must do is just be there for him, he is already attracted to you, but you need to give him time to get over his last relationship first before anything can happen.
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Postby Lorelei » Wed Feb 23, 2005 1:46 am

If he has been hurt, or put off relationships, by his previous girlfriend, it's important that you know why. Was she too clingy, or too distant, or unfaithful, etc? I'm not suggesting that you should change your personality. You should always be who you are, and if he doesn't fall for the real you, it's not meant to be... However, if his ex wanted too much commitment, for example, DON'T text him twenty times a day, and DO play a little hard to get! If she wasn't commited enough, be a little more forward with him. I think it's a really good sign that he has been texting you. The fact is, he already likes you. If he's treating you differently, he might just be afraid that you'll expect more from him than he's ready to give, because of what he said when you two were alone. So, don't change the way you treat him! Just be yourself, and in time, hopefully he'll get to a point where he's willing to let things progress. Good luck!

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