I'm worried she'll steal my boyfriend

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I'm worried she'll steal my boyfriend

Postby cookiemonsteryum » Sat Mar 05, 2005 5:29 pm

well the title says it all-
well to start, i've been with my boyfriend for about 18 months now, we live together, we're bestest mates and everything is pretty cool and i love him like crazy, HOWEVER, recently, his (male) friend, Sam, has been asking to hang out with us more, and has bought his girlfriend along too. The reason for this is that he wants to break up with her but wants her to have more female friends (i.e me!!). me and this girl, hayley, get on pretty well but sometimes i feel awkward cos i feel a bit in the middle of things!!
Sam texts and rings other girls all the time, in particular this girl my boyfriend and his friend both know. Sam's girlfriend knows something's up, and she keeps texting my boyfriend asking him what she should do, and they're pretty friendly texts, always calling him sweetie and stuff, with kisses at the end, sometimes i feel like she wants him to be her boyfriend!!
Surely if I'm her friend she should ask me to ask him? She's pretty and my boyfriend likes her as a person, he promises me he doesn't fancy her but I'm worried that me giving him a hard time about it is going to drive him away even more.

Should I ask her not to text him? or would that make me look crazy? I just don't really like it, if she's my mate then she should speak to me surely? I've had my heart broken so many times i can't help but get a bit nervous when something like this comes up, i even broke up with a previous boyfriend over things like this before, as he actually cheated with the texter.

my boyfriend is a lovely, sweet guy and of course women love him cos he's everything you could want in a man, he even likes shoe shopping!! I don't want to lose him cos he's the best thing that ever happened to me but i don't want to trust too much and get hurt again.
Any help/advice/reassurance would be great!!
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Postby all_apologies » Sun Mar 06, 2005 6:23 pm

I think she's asking your boyfriend (rather than you) for advice because her boyfriend is his friend, so he's more likely to know what's going on.

It sounds harmless to me - after all she's texting your boyfriend for advice on how to salvage her own relationship. Kisses and names can be simply friendly in text messages - I get them from both guy and girl mates that are in no way romantically related.

I can understand where your concern is coming from but don't think you've got anything to worry about. I wouldn't tell her to stop texting your boyfriend - after all, if there was anything in it your boyfriend wouldn't be letting you read the messages!
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Postby arwen » Mon Mar 07, 2005 4:18 pm

all_apologies is right... don't worry until there's something to worry about. If you make a drama out of nothing it will be you that looks bad.

If you need reassurance just be honest with your bf - he sounds like a nice understanding guy and I'm sure he'd understand if you're a little concerned, especially after what's happened to you in the past - but don't turn it into an argument.
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Postby JennaXXX » Wed Mar 09, 2005 12:31 pm

I agree. Kisses are just a friendly ending to a text. It doesn't mean anything!
Talk to your boyfriend calmly about this but dont get accussing about it.
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Postby SugarRainbows » Fri Mar 11, 2005 6:22 pm

He's with you hun not her, and it doesnt sound like he would ever leave you for her so you have nothing to worry about :)

Just think, if your bf was being like this you would want to know whats going on wouldnt you? Shes probably just focusing on finding out the truth and isnt thinking about your bf in that way at all.
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