I've never felt like I fit in with my friends

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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I've never felt like I fit in with my friends

Postby KoRn_Freak » Sun Mar 27, 2005 12:23 am

I have a bunch of really funny and caring friends. I've known them since high school and we're in college together. I've made new friends at college as well, but for some reason, after all this time, I don't feel like I belong with them.

If I think really hard about it I feel like I fit in with my boyfriend (because he's my best friend), Rizzie* and J*. 3 people.

One thing that made me start thinking about it was a while ago my friend Kay* held a party at the pub her older sister works at for her sister's birthday. Everyone I knew was invited, but I didn't even know anything about it until afterwards. I didn't want to mention anything because I didn't want to sound rude or pushy or whatever, but Kay* and I have been friends since year 10, and everyone she knows I'm good friends with too, and it sort of confused me as to why no one said a thing to me.

On my breaks at college I sit around with my friends, mainly Vie* and Tori* and the rest of the gang. Vie and I have been mates since year 7 and she's currently 8 months pregnant. She tells me everything about her pregnancy but when it involves our friends, and it concerns us all in some way, I don't hear anything about it. I don't want to sound like I'm trying to pry gossip out of anyone because I'm not, but if something concerns me or anyone else I know I'd appreciate being told.

We sit around, and I'm contributing to the conversation, but even so I still don't feel like I fit in.

I don't even know why I'm whining about it. It's not as if it's important.

It's just been on my mind.

Sorry.
Last edited by KoRn_Freak on Sun Mar 27, 2005 10:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby pixiemeat » Sun Mar 27, 2005 1:10 am

Maybe it's just that your all getting older, moving on and your growing apart.
It's like you were all clustering at school or whatever because those were people you most comfortable with and thats why you had this little knitted group and everyone knew everything, you were all pretty much on same level, like same stuff. you were all doing the same thing headingtowards finishing school etc.. The waltons type thing.
But now it's like you're all older and moving on and different people are doing different things and have different goals and tastes and personalities are growing. Addition of new members to the lil group also have changed people.. thats perhaps why you might be falling apart at the moment...
But sometimes its good to grow apart and start off with new people. It just makes hanging out with the old group more fun. But if you dont want to "loose" them.. talk to them thats the only thing you can really do.. and get really involved, organise events and stuff to pull people together again....

thatsprobably aload of rubbish but hope that helps even a lil
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Postby KoRn_Freak » Sun Mar 27, 2005 10:05 am

You know that Destiny Child song 'Girl'? I watched that video a little while ago and I felt so bad because I don't have anything like that. I don't have two girl friends who are always close by and always come round. Rizzie and Jay live far away from me and hardly see them anymore.

I guess I just always feel like I'm pushed out of the loop. They may not realise it but I can't help but feel as if they don't want me there.
We've got a long way to go; when snow hits the asphalt, cold looks and bad talk come...
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Postby JennaXXX » Thu Apr 07, 2005 11:03 am

Dont worry too much. Ok, certain groups of friends seem closer now but things change and you could end up closer to them in time.
Sometimes I feel I have nothing in common with my friends but often that feeling passes in time.
Remember you became friends for a reason so there must be something holding you together.
Why dont you try finding other friends as well? Maybe that way you will worry less about not fitting in and will gain confidence?
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Postby Liquidius » Thu Apr 07, 2005 3:36 pm

I know how you feel, sort of. I have friends at college but none really share the same interests as me, which results in us not doing much together after college.

For example:

2 of them love horse riding - last time I tried that I fell off and it really hurt.

1 is a proper girl - likes to go out clubbing (not my scene, or my sort of music)

But this doesnt matter too much. We are all still friends - and must have made friends in the first place for a reason. Sometimes it feels like I am drifting apart, but then I get invited out somewhere, or have a house party, and everything feels fine again.

I do have a lot in common with my bf, and in some cases more in common with his friends than my own. I just spend my time sharing my hobbies and interests with them :)

I'm also usually the last one to find out about stuff that concerns us as a group, but it doesnt matter - because im still told :)
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