sociopath friend?...

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sociopath friend?...

Postby sugar » Sun Mar 27, 2005 11:22 pm

i made a great group of friends at college, until one started to become clearer...

she is the only one to of had an argument with every single one of us, over stupid things. i cant take much more she ruins the day!

she argues over silly things one time "she didnt want to sit on the end" at college. she turnt all aggressive and violent shouting abuse at us all. another one was a friend complimented me, she started constantly swearing etc.

she is such an atention seeker, she always has to be center of attention, she cries if we walk ahead of her or link arms with eachother.

i am fed up with this everyday at college, its annoying and somewhat embarrasing. even after one argument she sent an email to my friend saying she hates her, shes so ugly etc etc, and she dont want her as a friend. next day she is saying to everyone at college we just ditched her and said she meant nothing to us.

some mentioned she may be a sociopath? can anyone explain more what this is? or know how me and my friends (we all feel the same on this one) can get away from her as we are all the victims here.
Very worried teenager, please help me live a normal life!!!
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Postby nothings_shocking » Sun Mar 27, 2005 11:27 pm

She seems to be insecure.
Do you know anything at all about this girls past?
maybe the girl has a reason the react the way she does.
Maybe she has a problem with herself?
You need to tell her you will always be there for her no matter what. This may make her feel more secure and able to trust people. If she tells you something then you cannot tell anyone else. This will build trust and see if you can see a change in her.
But you need to talk to her and find out if anything is bothering her.
Hope this helps
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Postby Lorelei » Mon Mar 28, 2005 9:01 pm

She sounds very erratic, insecure and immature.
I agree that you could try talking to her. If she was able open up about the problems that she obviously has, she might stop taking them out on others.
If she refuses to accept that there is anything wrong with her behaviour, there is no reason that you and your friends should have to deal with it. It doesn't matter what she tells people about the 'split'. She will probably show her true colours to everyone, eventually, and it will be obvious to them why she no longer spends time with your group.
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Postby dizzy_days » Wed Mar 30, 2005 12:33 pm

Lorelei wrote:She sounds very erratic, insecure and immature.
I agree that you could try talking to her. If she was able open up about the problems that she obviously has, she might stop taking them out on others.
If she refuses to accept that there is anything wrong with her behaviour, there is no reason that you and your friends should have to deal with it. It doesn't matter what she tells people about the 'split'. She will probably show her true colours to everyone, eventually, and it will be obvious to them why she no longer spends time with your group.



that was very well put!! i wud of said the same but not as good as what you put!! :D
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Postby saz » Wed Mar 30, 2005 4:06 pm

Sometimes with people like this, aggression, manipulation and anger is all they have ever known. it is their language because what happens is that every time they behave that way, they get a response from people - and that is giving attention to that behaviour. People need to realise that behaving in a nice way receives the best attention and is most positive, so in effect you either have to ignore the bad behaviour, and make her feel good when she is nice (in turn she will be nice more often) or actually spell this out to her. Say to her that you love her company when she is in a nice mood and being friendly, but her other behaviour is getting you all down and is actually unecessary.

She does sound insecure and probably out of control, knowing that this behaviour doesn't make people like her at all, quite the opposite, and she may feel she needs a lot of constant attention and support all the time. She may need someone to talk to about things that are really bothering her, and you can make it clear you are willing to do that but it must be on your terms. Dont stand for her being so rude, and if she starts it walk away. Dont worry about what other people think i am sure they realise what she is like too, and listening to them may make the situation worse. Good luck
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Postby arwen » Thu Mar 31, 2005 3:43 pm

How about a shake-up? Instead of running after her when she starts crying and giving her the sympathy she is after, stand up and say very loudly and clearly "What on EARTH is the matter with you? Pack it in RIGHT NOW!" or words to that effect and see if it shocks her out of this behaviour pattern.
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Postby Jess1234 » Thu Mar 31, 2005 10:30 pm

I think she is insecure and agree that if you try and find out why shes acting like she is then maybe you can try and sort things out. If you build up her trust then she might respond to you and confide in you when she feels that way in the future
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