I never seem to be able to do anything right

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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I never seem to be able to do anything right

Postby Jess1234 » Thu Mar 31, 2005 10:46 pm

My best mate and me get on really well when we are together most of the time but as soon as I mention one of my other friends names she goes in a mood with me. We used to be arguing all the time about it but we seemed to get over it. Now though if I do anything with anyone else she goes in a mood with me and if I don't pay her enough attention when I'm with a group of people then I get into trouble.
I really like her and I dont want her to be unhappy and I hate arguing with her. I just dont know what to do. I don't want to neglect my other friends but I don't want her to be unhappy either.

Sorry if I'm just rambling x
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Postby gothicglitter » Thu Mar 31, 2005 11:47 pm

Hi jess
It seems to me like your friend is jelouse. why not talk to her and tell her that you care for her but you also have other friends which you must see sometimes. Why not take her out with you when you go out with your other friends?
dont give in when she goes in moods just leave her to be moody because she wants all your attention and she will soon stop.
I hope this helps
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Postby nothings_shocking » Fri Apr 01, 2005 12:32 am

I understand how you are feeling. I went through the same thing.
No matter what you do just not satisfied.
It seems like your friend has a problem with you having other friends.
Maybe your best friend wants to be friends with the friends you are mentioning?
Maybe there is a reason for her wanting your constant attention? Is your friend an only child?
Could it be that she feels safe around you as you understand her etc? Like you are her security blanket?
Try and involve your best friend in things you do with your other friends.
This may make her feel more happier.

When i fell out with my friend a lot i left her to it. Sounds mean but basically i thought she was attention seeking. There is no need to react in this way just because you have other friends.

It seems like you are caring about her as you don't want her to be unhappy which is fair ebough, but you also need to think about yourself. You seem unhappy and you shouldn't be.

Sorry but her moods just seem like a way of getting people's attention...

Hope you work things out.

x x x
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Postby Lorelei » Fri Apr 01, 2005 1:29 am

What ages are you and your friend?
It could be a case of different stages of maturity.
Kids are usually very possessive (i.e. It goes from being "That's MY toy!" to "That's MY friend!")
As we grow up, we usually learn about sharing things with people, and also about sharing people. However, different people mature and expand their social scenes, at different ages.
Perhaps your friend just hasn't grasped that yet, and she needs a little time to get over her possessive phase.
Of course, you might be 40, in which case the above is rather useless! :lol:
Is your friend shy? Maybe shy finds it very hard to make friends, and relies on you because you're the only one she feels comfortable with. She could be afraid that the more you socialize, the less time you'll have for her, and the more alone she'll be. In that case, you could try dragging her out to meet people and maybe she'll find some new friends of her own!

Hope you can find some way to relieve the problem! xxx
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Postby pixiemeat » Fri Apr 01, 2005 3:55 pm

She could be afraid that the more you socialize, the less time you'll have for her, and the more alone she'll be. In that case, you could try dragging her out to meet people and maybe she'll find some new friends of her own!


Agreed I think you should trry involving her in activities. Inviting her out with friends and putting her in a situation where she has to talk to them so that she can make more friends and hopefully become less possessive with you.
Or maybe you really need to DISCUSS (not argue) about this tell her that you have got other friends and that you like soending time with her but you also like spending time with them. it's not that your leaving her it's just that you have other friends that you like to spend time with too.

But you should definatly try and get her to socialise with them too. That way you can spend time with her and them... Get her involved in conversations, start conversations where you know she can talk about things. I think perhaps shes really shy and maybe feels like shes being left behind a little bit. Have you two been friends for a long time? Like since you were little or whatever? and does she have a lot of other friends too?

I've often found that when there are two best friends there is always the one that is really outgoing and gets involved and ha plenty of friends and then there is the one who is a little more inward and doesn't talk much. In cases like that I think it helps just talking to them and trying to make them feel comfortable and get them out of the shells so to speak.
hope thats a little help
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Postby bubbles! » Sat Apr 02, 2005 3:16 pm

Maybe she just feels left out sometimes, maybe you should try to involve her in the things that you do with your other mates. Jus talk to her and ask her about it, but don't argue, it just makes things worse.
Hope it sorts out soon
xxx

[b][size=9]edited by all_apologies: please use proper English in the forums[/size][/b]
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Postby Jess1234 » Sat Apr 02, 2005 7:21 pm

Thnx 4 ur help. I think we've sorted it out now.
Jess x
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