Friend suicidal streak

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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Friend suicidal streak

Postby Mjaries » Fri Apr 01, 2005 4:43 pm

hi
recently one of my friends ave been going through a hard time and she turned around and said she was going to kill herself because me and er keep having arguements i'm really scared and if she did anything id feel really guilty what do i do

Help
plz
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Postby Fidel » Fri Apr 01, 2005 4:43 pm

Don't believe a word. This is merely emotional blackmail.
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????????

Postby Mjaries » Fri Apr 01, 2005 4:45 pm

Maybe but what do i do about it?
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Postby arwen » Fri Apr 01, 2005 4:49 pm

Don't let her put you in this situation, Fidel is 100% correct; this is emotional blackmail and attention seeking.
There may be a deeper underlying issue(s) that you can help her resolve if she will open up to you, but you need to make it clear that you won't be emotionally blackmailed by anyone. Be kind but firm. Ask her what's troubling her and how you can help.
Her life and her decisions are NOT your responsibility and she needs to realise this.
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Postby pixiemeat » Fri Apr 01, 2005 5:20 pm

If you ask me and the others are right. This is purely attention seeking. You'd find that if she was indeed going to take her own life she wouldn't of told. If she was even going to attempt it and was so sure of it she wouldn't let anyone have the chance of stopping her.

This is Emotional Blackmail and in that case she isn't a very good friend. She is just trying to get you to fall in line with what she wants. I'd say that perhaps you should either say to her "look we can sort our problems out and you stop blackmailing me with this, stop behaving like a child and act liek a rational adult!" or just say to her " I am not going to let anyone blackmail me and make me feel bad about something so pathetic" and walk away.

I'm afraid a good TALKING to is needed here.
Its better to burn out than fade away
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Postby Rock_Queen » Fri Apr 01, 2005 6:47 pm

Hey,

Wait wait wait... emotional blackmail? Why has she got a reason to black mail you for? If she has fair enough but if you can't see anything wrong then you need to support her.

When people are down and frustrated, perghaps depressed like your friend is they can be very hard people to get along with. You need to understand this and take anything that she says with a pinch of salt....but listen. This might be just what she needs, an ear to listen and a shoulder to lend for a good 'ol crying session. Perhaps sit her down or invite her round and have a chat with her, are there any underlying minor arguments that never really got solved? If so they could be taking their toll on your friendship with her, so talk them through to strengthen your bonds, and lift any stress that could've been added to what she is going through already.

Then you have to make her understand that you are there for her, that you will support her through any hard times she may be going through. Don't take all this on yourself though, as someone said before, what is going on in her head is not you're responsibilty, she needs to get herself out of this rut on her own when it all boils down to it.
Hope this helps, RQ x
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Postby lilessexgal » Fri Apr 01, 2005 8:41 pm

i agree with Rock_Queen!

what has she got to black mail you for? it may not be attention seeking you dont know that! so dont persume she is! maybe you could talk to her about what she is feeling? she seems slightly insecure to me so before she does anything stupid try your best to help her! i mean she could just be attention seeking im not going against that idea completely but you dont know for sure!
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Postby Llisa » Fri Apr 01, 2005 10:22 pm

You know her personality better than anyone elses...what do you think?

On a personal level, when I broke up with my first boyfriend, he told me that he had been driving along the highway wondering what transport he should crash in front of, and on and on it went.
He was emotionallyblackmailing me into feeling sorry for him, and put in a corner so that I would want to get back together with him.

But I knew it for what it was, ignored him, and he got over it. He's now 'happily' married to a lovely girl.

If this statement of hers is out of the blue, than I wouldn't take it too seriously. Be careful though, and at least listen to what she has to say before you go and ignore her plee for friendship. But at teh same time, if for whatever horrible reason she follows through with her threat, then don't get caught up in feeling responsible. People who take their own lives are entirely selfish and wanting only to please themselves..it has nothing to do with you.
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