friends or more?

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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friends or more?

Postby loo » Sat Apr 09, 2005 8:01 pm

hi
well ive always hung around with mainly guys and have just two girls that i would call proper friends. me and one of the guys have always had a close friendship and share everything with each other. i know it sounds corny but its like we can read each others minds!! i recently had a boyfriend and my friend felt like he couldn't talk to me as much and as soon as me and my boyfriend split up we were back to normal and i was telling him to go for it with this girl i knew he liked so he did. me and this girl have never really got on and ever since hes been with her he wont talk to me if shes in the room. when shes not there he comes over and tells me he loves me and that i mean evrything to him and sounds very childish but we've decided that we will get married if neither of us if married by the time were 30.
we've always had a bond and the more i look at him the more i feel that we should be more than friends. neither of us fancy each other but its like we have a connection and it cant be ignored both of us have told friends that have told the other that we love each other.
is it just friend love or is there something more?
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Postby Rock_Queen » Sat Apr 09, 2005 10:21 pm

Hi,

I thought i would say something that sounded familier. This morning i was watching an episode of friends. It was one where Joey and Rachel were together, and attempted to have sex. Rachel cocked up (literally) and kneed him in the nuts, thus he could not perform! But later when they have calmed down and they were contemplating what happened... they realised that there is a fine line between friends that truely love each other and "lovers"

You can have a friend that you love dearly, and that you feel could be with forever, and you can be like that without breaching the line of love as in 'lover, passion, sex etc' If you do decide that this man is suitable material for 'lover' status, then think about it alot first. You could ruin a very good friend ship, and end up worse off in the long run. Can you honestly imagine having sex with him? Or to love him in that way?

Hope this helps.... RQ
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Postby lilessexgal » Sun Apr 10, 2005 5:42 pm

i think Rock_Queen has said it all there! i would just like to ask are you two both absolutly certain you dont fancy each other in anyway? because some of what you have said seems like you are just best mates but then other stuff seems like you have more going on between you then you think if that makes sense.
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Postby loo » Sun Apr 10, 2005 7:41 pm

i'm not sure if i fancy him i mean i admit he is absolutely gorgeous its just he's not my usual type, maybe i'm just scared of losing my friend and therefore telling myself that i don't fancy him and with him its like hes always telling me how nice i look and complimenting me and giving 'those looks' if you know what i mean. i think we're both just unsure of what we would be letting ourselves in for if it came to us being together.

oh and i have to say thankyou for all your advice and words of wisdom they have helped me and hopefully next time i see him i will be able to have this conversation with him that is definately much needed!
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Postby JennaXXX » Mon Apr 11, 2005 10:03 am

I would say to give it time. You may be feeling a bit jealous at the moment. I also think that the change in your friendship (him having a girlfriend) has probably made you re-evaluate your feelings for him. It sounds to me like you need to relax and just go with the flow. Your feelings may develop into something more or they might lessen with time. Dont make any rash decisions just yet!
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Postby popcorn » Mon Apr 11, 2005 9:36 pm

Hya
loo what u see in your first post was exactly what happened with my b.f, we were working part time in a shop and were were best mates, we shared everything with each other. We kept telling out selfs it wouldnt work and that we r just friends, im sure u no how it is. We started seeing each other as the other work colouges already though we were going out with the amount of time we spent together Any way getting to the point we've been together almost 4 yrs, so it is possiable to go out with ur best mate.

im not saying u should jump in to anything but its worthing thinking about, ive never been happier. xx
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Postby loo » Thu Apr 21, 2005 8:16 pm

well whe i was out the other night he was there and we were getting on great as usual and he was just whispering to me do you want to be with me or are you winding me up so i told him i did like him and wanted to make a go of it but he had a girlfriend so all that didnt matter! then his girlfriend turned up so i stayed clear for the rest of the night and didn't get in the way of the two of them.
a few days later i saw him and he was like 'i see you've made your mind up then' so i asked him what he meant and he told me he'd heard a rumour that i was seeing someone else and also because of the way i was when his gf turned up. he also went on about how he had to watch me with my ex and how much it hurt him!
i have really started seeing him in 'that light' now but he's making out i'm the one thats messing him around when its him that has the gf!!
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Postby arwen » Fri Apr 22, 2005 3:50 pm

OK, you obviously both want to be with each other so why not make a go of it. If he's not happy with his girlfriend it's up to him to end it with her BEFORE anything happens between the two of you. Don't go behind her back.
I went out with my best friend when I was 14, we were together for a few years and although it didn't work out in the end (we were both young!) I don't have any regrets at all and we are still great friends now.
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