am i selfish

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am i selfish

Postby leelee4love » Thu Jun 09, 2005 11:20 am

I love my friends they are good to me, every weekend we go out together, we have a laugh, everyweek I invite them to my place to get ready, Last sat night we we were all heading out, and four of the girls came up to get ready, they came up with no make up on them and used all mine scattered in all over the bed, they borrowed my clothes and broke my GHD hair straigheners, While i was in the shower, the called a taxi to pick us up even though i was no where near ready, when i got dressed they insulted what i was wearing and advised me to change, but there was no time,my bedroom was in an awful state when i was leaving, and sunday I had to clean the room, while they lay in there beds at home. Wine was split all over my new carpet and it room stank, My friends are good to me most of the time, but I enjoy going out and enjoying myself and having time to myself to get ready, they all called over an hour before they were invited..am I been selfish to not want to share all my hard earned make up jewellery and perfume?


Please post your advise...it would be much appreciated
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Postby JennaXXX » Thu Jun 09, 2005 11:42 am

Are you sure your friends are good to you? The behaviour that they have shown certainly doesn't sound good to me.
You are certainly not being selfish....They had absolutely no right to treat your belongings with so little respect.
You should let them know how angry you are. Failing that you should find some new friends who will treat you with some respect.
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Postby all_apologies » Thu Jun 09, 2005 12:12 pm

It's not selfish, and in fact it's your friends who are selfish for mistreating the things that you're so kindly sharing with them.

If this is happening regularly, I think you should make a stand and just not invite them to your house to get ready. You don't have to say why - just don't suggest it and wait for one of them to offer their house. If the same happens at the others' houses, then you'll know that your mates are just selfish people in general.

If you don't invite them to your house maybe they'll get the hint and realise what they did was out of order. You could always be subtle about it and just say that you don't have a lot of cash and can't afford to share your stuff. If they have any conscience at all they'll feel bad and think twice about treating you the way that they have.
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Postby Liquidius » Thu Jun 09, 2005 2:13 pm

I bet your friends dont even realise what they've done. Similar situations have happened in my friendship group, and half the time, you don't see it happening.

I think you should talk to them about it, and explain how much they've upset you. I'm sure they'd be apologetic, and they'd watch what they were doing next time they were over.
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Postby leelee4love » Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:02 pm

thanks for all your replies greatly appreciated, they are good to me, its just they dont see that it annoys me because its only really getting to me now, i live closest to town so it is cheaper for them to get a taxi from my place, but just once id like to leave my bedroom tidy where my clothes that havent been seen before and go to my friends house for a change, its like they know every single thing in my waldrope, one night I had a family occasion and I got ready in my bedroom alone, it was great i played my choice of music,and put cd back in cover, i didnt have to ask for my own make up, i could call the taxi when i was ready, and I all the mirrors where free,.....it was heaven, and they get that every week in there own house before they arrive at mine
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One word; Doormat

Postby queenanubis » Mon Jun 13, 2005 10:42 am

I'm sorry sweetie, but its no way that YOU are being the selfish one. Girls like that I like to call Leeches. They suck your energy and you time (not to mention all your make-up from the sound of it) and you deserve loads better then that. But then I am quite harsh and would not stand being treated that way. The best thing you can do if you really want to keep their company (or only some of them) would be to invite them all (if you invite them one at a time it will encourage secret bicthing, I should know!) and sit them down and tell them that you want to say something and then calmly explain how you feel by the way that they treat you.

Also if it is your house, act like it! That is your home making you the queen of your castle. You should never EVER allow anyone to disrespect you esp in your home. They should know better and you can use that as an example;how would they feel if you were to act like they do in their home? They wouldn't like it I'm sure!
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Postby brfc » Thu Jun 16, 2005 4:37 pm

tell them next time you will meet them in town when you go out. At your convinience! when your ready! i wouldnt have freinds gate crashing my bedroom chucking stuff all over. you have been nice enough to let them get changed at your but there taking the mickey! ( in polite words lol) you stand your ground. if they want to come over and turn up early id pretend im out. lock the door get ready then when your done open it lol.
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