Falling out with friend's friend

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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Falling out with friend's friend

Postby Lorelei » Sat Jul 09, 2005 1:43 pm

Apologies in advance, this is really quite a small and boring problem!

One of my best friends is a guy named Bob*. One of his best friends is a girl named Lucy*. I don't see Lucy very often, but she usually comes to my birthday, and has been for weekends away with us, etc. She can be a little aggressive, and Bob has been getting tired of her behaviour lately.

Yesterday was my birthday, and a group of us went out. At the end of the night, Bob, Lucy and I were the last ones standing. When we left the pub, I approached a dog who appeared lost, to see if he was wearing a collar. The dog actually belonged to a nearby busker, who was subsequently quite rude to me. I walked away. Bob made an unflattering comment towards the busker in my defense, but Lucy sided with the busker against him.

Bob snapped at Lucy. They fought, she stormed off, then Bob texted her saying: "Lorelei and I will never speak to you again unless you apologize to us."

I am really upset by this, as I said nothing of the sort, and the whole thing was a silly, drunken argument. I would like Lucy to know that I didn't take it so seriously, but I don't have her number. Should I ask Bob for her number, or should I wait until I next see her and try to smooth things over, or should I ask Bob to tell her that I didn't ask him to send that text?

Thanks!xxx
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Postby nothings_shocking » Sat Jul 09, 2005 1:53 pm

Hey,
No need to apologise as it is not a mall and boring problem.
Happy Birthday for yesterday!!! :D
Do you generally get on with Lucy?
The busker had no right to make that rude comment and i think Bob being a good friend done what any good friend would have done. Maybe Lucy feels that the busker had a right saying it?
I don't think Bob should have text Lucy as this could have made things worse.
I think you should ask Bob for Lucy's number, shows you do care about people and that you do not dwell on things.
You also need to talk to Bob and ask him why he sent it. It really was not fair to include you int he text without your consent.
hope this helps
x x x
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Postby Lorelei » Sat Jul 09, 2005 2:03 pm

Thanks petal!
Yes, your advice does help. It's good to get an outside perspective. I'll give Bob a ring later then.

Lucy can be a bit difficult, but I usually get on okay with her. I know she was being a bit disloyal, but she had just broken up with her boyfriend and she really didn't need such a harsh text on top of that. I hate the fact that it looked as if it came from me, because I don't think I have ever said anything that harsh to anyone in my life! :lol:

Thanks again!xxx
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Postby nothings_shocking » Sat Jul 09, 2005 2:10 pm

You are welcome :)
You do need to get in touch. It is obvious that you see her as a friend. Get in touch and try and sort things out. Try and start fresh? Maybe invite her out for a coffee to talk about things? Maybe Lucy just needs someone to talk to about her boyfriend?
Talk to Bob and tell him that you thought it was unfair of him sending the text etc.
If you make first move she should be ok.
Hope everything works out ok :)
x x x
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Postby Liquidius » Sat Jul 09, 2005 5:10 pm

Happy birthday for yesterday.

You need to get in contact with her, and give it a go at smooting things out :) That's what I'd do anyway!
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Postby Cameron2810 » Sat Jul 09, 2005 10:46 pm

Totally agree. contact her as soon as possible. Things don't want to get between you and your friend or his friend without that sounding too confusing.

I had a problem like this but it was over something else which I won't go into for personal reasons. Basically my best friend Gavin and his pal Beth and I went out for drinks and all the rest of it and things got heated. I fell out with Beth and leaving things for weeks without talking made people make comments that hadnt been said and people were making things up and it all got a bit out of hand. Something that would usually happen in a playground. I didnt speak to Beth for weeks and when we finally did we talked it all through and now its done. Beth is now a close pal of mine too, friends friends could become close friends of your own

good luck xx
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Postby Lorelei » Sun Jul 10, 2005 10:46 pm

Thanks for the advice, everyone!

I got in contact with Lucy and sorted it all out. Bob apologised for putting my name on the text, and he and Lucy are going to try to talk things through soon. So, all's well that ends well!xxx
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