Online Friendship

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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Online Friendship

Postby saz » Sun Jul 10, 2005 10:31 pm

I am a bit concerned, but not sure what to do. I dont normally ever really keep close contact with people on the internet, but on a parenting site i have been chatting to a girl for a long time now. We talk on messenger all the time and have exchanged emails, mobile numbers, and photographs, but she says she lives far away and there is no mention of meeting or anything, we just chat about life in general, relationships and such like.

I am just worried we get on really well but recently things she tells me just dont seem to add up, quite dramatic - do you get me? And it seems to be one thing after the other. I can't work out whether she is just a very unlucky or extremely lucky person (one extreme to the other!), or it is all made up. And what do i do about it? Do i cut off all contact and it really might be all genuine, or do i just carry on with it, even though i am sceptical? And if i do cut off all contact, do i explain or just disappear??

Anyone been in this situation??
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Postby Lorelei » Sun Jul 10, 2005 10:44 pm

Of course, it's always a bit of a risk that internet friends might not be who they say they are. However, this girl hasn't ever suggested meeting up, or anything like that, so I don't think you should worry too much.

I've had situations where people that I spoke to on the internet got a little weird, but as long as you don't give out your personal details, and as long as this girl isn't being nasty or threatening, it doesn't really matter.

I'm sure you have good enough instincts to figure out whether or not she seems a bit suspicious. If you enjoy talking to her, you might as well continue. Just don't take what she says too seriously. If you're not interested in talking to someone who isn't genuine, you could just lessen your contact until it fizzles out, i.e. send shorter messages, and don't reply to her for a while. Evenually, she will probably get close to someone else on the site, and you'll be off the hook!xxx
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Postby all_apologies » Mon Jul 11, 2005 7:31 pm

People often use internet friends (I don't mean use in a nasty sense) to get attention that they're perhaps not getting in their 'real' lives. For instance, from time to time, we'll get people on PP making stuff up, and it's more than likely just because they want a bit of attention.

I agree with Lorelei - it's harmless just talking to her, and if you enjoy it then you should continue. if you feel at all uncomfortable about the prospect of meeting her, just don't do it.

If it's bothering you, perhaps you could confront her in a friendly way, maybe start making jokes in a "oh here we go again, what is it now?" sort of way. Are you keen to meet her, and is this why it's bothering you so much that you think she's lying?
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Postby JennaXXX » Tue Jul 12, 2005 11:27 am

Just be cautious. You dont know this person until you have met them. If you do ever meet then you could take someone with you and at the very least make sure you tell someone where you are at all times.
But if this person is making you uncomfortable then just cut all contact with her.
You can only decide whats best. Just go with what feels right and listen to your instincts if its telling you that something is not quite right about this friend.
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Postby Liquidius » Tue Jul 12, 2005 7:16 pm

Yes, actually I have been. I just carried on...

It all panned out in the end. I have quite a few close friends online, and if she's making things up, it'll soon become very apparent.
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Postby saz » Wed Jul 13, 2005 8:21 am

Hmm no this is just with me, and i have been burdened with the whole drama that it is a secret, and shouldn't talk about it.

Put it this way, if i told you all the things she had told me you would laugh. But the way she has been doing it for a long period of time is really convincing. It is only more recently that i am having doubts.

She claims to be in the medical profession and the name she has given me on an email, i checked it yesterday and there is no one of that name. I think she probably is telling the truth about some things, but then elaborating - ie, i think she does live where she says she does, but not in the situation she claims.

She says she is in a relationship with someone well known (but i can't say who LOL), and this has gone through turbulent times recently and every day there is something new that either is a miracle or goes wrong.

She doesn't seem keen to discuss some things if i ask her questions, and wants to talk more about her love life than any other single thing, we dont even talk about kids very much! It is driving me mad so i am cutting down contact, hopefully i can get rid of her soon. Thanks.
Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
cos i'm in love with the inner being
saz
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Postby Martin_UK » Wed Jul 13, 2005 10:09 am

Sounds to me like she is a lonely person herself and exaggerates on what she has got to keep people talking to her, maybe she is trying too hard to keep mates.

Either way I think cutting down contact is a good idea, I only have a few mates online and one really only good one, but he is geuine and I know that, the problem is that a lot of people aren't... thats the problem with having any kind of relationship online.

Good Luck, I know it can be hard cutting down contact if she keeps talking to you online.
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