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She found my diaries

PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2003 12:24 am
by Amanda
i have two diaries, one of which is about my college life, and everything that goes on in my life that i feel i can't tell anyone else.
the other is my dream diary, which has in it all my spiritual development, including dreams and meditations, and stuff like that. :oops:

i feel so violated, i mean, i tell my brother everything, but even he has never seen my diaries.

i know that they have been moved at least, but it is human nature that if you find diary or a few strange looking notebooks, that you are going to read them, isn't it? and i know that my roommate definately would have read them, cos she's that kind of person.

the thing is though, that they were under my bed, so how did she even find them unless she was rooting about for them? it's like i can't trust her. (my food/drinks have also been disappearing, and i am pretty sure money has also been disappearing, although that can't be proved) if i confront her, it will cause a huge conflict. should have seen her face when she knew i'd busted her about reading my diaries, if i wasn't so angry, it probably would have been funny! she really is a terrible liar, and i can spot one a mile off.

sooo, do i confront her directly or just leave it? this is the same girl who i had a good rant about in a previous post somewhere in this forum. for some reason, i still don't want to lose her friendship, and i know it sounds selfish, but i don't feel like i m getting anything out of the friendship except load of stress and BS. and because i share a room with her, things could get a bit awkward. :cry:

I would really someone to help me with this - i'm too old for the "i'm not talking to you anymore" thing, but she really is driving me mad!!! :evil:

so... dump her as a friend, or let her carry on being the way she is and she will lose more friends in the long run which may teach her a harsh but valuable lesson. :-?

any ideas?


PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2003 10:13 pm
by X_Smiler_X
Hiya Amanda!
I think you should sit down with this girl, and civily ask her if she has any clue who has been looking through your stuff.
Obviously, you cannot prove this, unless you ask her directly. It's rude to invade someone elses property - and the person who did this should know that!
Hope everything gets better!

i know i really should talk to her...

PostPosted: Thu Mar 20, 2003 2:01 pm
by Amanda
i suppose i'm just worried about the conflict it would cause. the thing is, that if i asked her had she been in my stuff, that she would know that i was accusing her, as the only other people that come in the room come while i am there.

i think i'll have to wait this one out, and hope that she doesn't tell anyone what is in those books. cos if she does, and word gets back to me, i'm gonna know who was spreading it.

you're right - she should know better, but if i ask her directly she will deny it.

i could tell though, cos she has such a guilty face when she is lying - i said to her, "i'm gonna have to move my books now, no, actually, i'm gonna take them home at the weekend" she asked me why, and i said "cos i dont trust people at this college, and if anyone read these, i would have to kill them" (jokingly!) i think she got the message, heh heh. :P

oh well, just another term, then i can swap roomies! :D

thanks smiler

PostPosted: Mon Mar 31, 2003 8:36 pm
by Kit

Just a thought...

have you thought about investing in one of those little safes? Depending on were you go, they don't cost very much. You could keep it under your bed, or in your wardrobe and lock your stuff in it.

If you friend asks why you've bought one, you can just say, you've bought it to keep your valuables in as you don't want to lose them. That way your diaries (and money) are safe, and you won't need to confront her about moving you things.


PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2003 5:01 pm
by Amanda
that is a really good idea in theory, apart from if i got caught with a safe in college, i would be told to remove it, and would probably be fined (they fine you for everything here!, and extra "furniture" is against the rules!)

we do atually have a top drawer which is supposed to lock. supposed to. oh well, she knows i don't trust her, but at least we're not at each others throats anymore, which is definately a good thing. i'll get the handy man in to fix the lock.

thanks for replying, the people who did!



PostPosted: Sun May 11, 2003 6:02 pm
by Chloe13
Amanda, as i read through your problem, I recognised quite a few things about your friend. she is exactly like mine!
Although i don't have to live with her, it is certainly leading to that. I think you need to nip it in th bud and just say to her that you don't want to lose her friendship, but you think that you don't have the sort of relationship to share a flat. tell her she shouldn't lie to you. there is no point and you can't believe wot she says n e more. tell her you need privacy and you know she doesn't realise it, she is pushing you further and further apart. say from now on, if anything is bothering either of you, you should not be afraid to come right out and say it! :wink:

Similar thing happened to me

PostPosted: Sat May 31, 2003 6:45 pm
by Cat Queen
When I was sixteen, my so called best mate, asked to borrow my diaries.Stupid me gave her them! She then went to a friend who i`d written about,gave her the diaries to read. Next day, I went over to this friend`s house, only to be confronted with my diaries,and a huge argument. :evil: My diaries where then destroyed in front of me. I was totally GUTTED :cry: :evil: Never forgave any of them,including myself for being SO stupid! :( So i`ve been there hun, tell us how you get on.

PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2003 11:39 am
by bubblebath
i think you should confront her ask her if she has been in u r room recently oe just put things in draws where she cant find them or even buy little safe with a lock
my frind used to pinch things of mine and i confrunted her it caused us to argue but in the end she admitted it and apogilized she said she was short of cash and i never offered tp help maybee ur frind is short of cash ask her if ahe needs help
hope this hels let me no

Talk to her!!!

PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2003 11:08 pm
by beatmc
I'd suggest you just talk to her calmly about it and tell her that you don't like people reading about your personal life and she should respect you for that :D