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is it my fault

Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2003 11:23 pm
by saraha
i work with a group of blokes.
it not so bad monday night as there dont work that night.
there is about 5 of them.
they work saturday same time as me 4 9 hours.
each week they tell me they want to do certain things with me, and parts of me, which i dont really want to talk about.
i have asked them nicely to stop,
then one of them hit my arm,
he said he only pushed me.
so i slapped him.
he is the really decent one outta of them,
he was just messing around,
he didnt mean to,
it really hurt, i believed he did.
now all the other blokes told him i really hate him,
he started to believe him and telling me i am evil.
he usaully nice to unlike the others
so i guess i recked(how ever u spell it) are friendship.
even hough he the one who started it.

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2003 1:03 am
by Jo

My first reaction is to say that you should not put up with being treated like this.

The comments they are making about you sound as though they constitute sexual harassment and they have no right to talk to you that way.

If you have asked them nicely to stop then it might be time to take it further.

What sort of job is it?What is your boss like? Have you tried talking to him/her about it?

One thing you could do to start with is to keep a record of what they say, when they say it, who was around when it happened etc. Make sure you include dates, times and names. It could become important later on.

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2003 1:05 pm
by saraha
i work in a shop department store warehouse.
every one just reackons it them just messing around as they do it to all the girls for a couple of months.
it been 4 now.
to begin with i was ok with it,
but it got worest.
i going to try and get a transfer,
i got to wait though aleast 4 months,
i got told you have to at least work for department store for 6-8 months.
before i can a transfer,
i really like my job,
the blokes are really nice, when they dont act like this,
when they do,
it different.

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2003 1:51 pm
by danielle
i know what your going through cus im going through the same thing at the moment .i work in a college im 17 yrs old and because it is a college and im young that i often have lads come and talk to me i mean they stand at my office door and chat to me which i dont mind cus im in there on my own and i get bored but recently one or two lads have started to make comments about my breast size and saying they want to do things to me which i just throught they were having a laugh at first until he kissed his hand and then pressed his hand on my face so i told my mom and she said that it was sexual harrasment so i told my boss and it was sorted out very quickly .and i dont have anymore problems with him now in fact he doesn't even look at me .

so my advice is if its bothering u that much then tell someone who can do something about it.
i hope ive helped abit.
good luck

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2003 4:41 pm
by saraha
i like to,
but the girls tell me i am wasting my time as it happen to them,
when some one else comes, aslong it a girl they leave me alone.
but it not fair on the next person and also not many girls work in the warehouse of the department,
new people have started, i still get picked on,
there is 6 of them that is the problem, well kind of 8 of them.
i didn't mind being friends,
it took 5 months to get this job as i had to leave my last job due to safety and family problems which caused employers not to give me a job as they were scared of my mum turning up.
i try and get the transfer, or get another job, till then i stuck with them,
because the only to make them stop is to sack em,
but you cant sack that many people,
even if you did my life would be hell because every one else would hate me and belame if that happen to their friends.

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2003 8:27 pm
by Jo
Hi again

If you report sexual harassment to your employer it is the law that they have to investigate it.

You really really need to get clued up about sexual harassment - see below for a link to the sexual harassment section of the BBC web site - it explains what sexual harassment it is and exactly what to do about it.

If your immediate supervisors are unhelpful, go over their heads. If you work in a well known department store there will be a head office somewhere that will have to listen to you.

Don't be discouraged by your workmates - maybe if they had some proper information about how to deal with sexual harassment they would help you to do something about it.

Here is the link

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2003 1:12 pm
by saraha
thanks for your advice,
i let you know what happens.
i going to try and expplain to my employer or supervisor at work what happen and hopefully they will help stop this.

Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2003 12:09 am
by saraha
now i am class a bully and troble maker at work.
my supervisor claims i work to slow,
that i not putting any effort in,
since i told my other supervisor what happening at work.
all the men at work tell me that i should (how ever you spell it) be more careful.
they claim i am evil,
that they were just joking,
i shouldn't of taken them seriously.
even when they didn't stop when i asked them to.
plus the guy who kinda hit my arm, well claimes he pushed it,
and i slapped him back as i had enough and it really upset me.
he really likes me.
i though he was making fun of me like the rest of mates.
he was such a great friend.
i feel it all my fault.
so he claimes i really hurt him and the way people treat me is great.
because he really likes me.
the only reason he was my friend was so he could get close to me, as i am wid some one at the moment.
so now i feel even worest. :( :cry: :cry: