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brother is on heroin

PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 10:03 am
by alphamach
and whatever I do doesn't seem to help him come off of it.

I know its tough to stop it but he doesn't try hard enough.
My mum helps him and even sticks up for him.
They both lie frequently. My mum takes him to buy it (ok maybe because at least he doesn't have to get any of his friends to take him which are not a great crowd of people)

we all live at home with parents so its a full house and there is not a good atmosphere here while my brother continues the drug taking.

What can I do to change things?

I can't move out yet as its expensive. although I really want to.
Is there a way we can kick my brother out of the house?
It's annoying having him here while he is taking drugs.

Should I lock him in a room somewhere so that the drugs can exit his body and then maybe he can stop?

I am just thinking that the longer he can stay off the drugs then the more chance he will stay off it.

maybe send him to a country where there is no drugs?
or an area in the uk - countryside somewhere where he could not buy any?

what do you think?

PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 10:32 am
by missy3
I don't think there is anything you can do. You can't help him unless he wants to be helped. Yes you could kick him out, but if your mum is on his side, she won't do it - and by kicking him out, you certainly won't be helping him (if that's what you want to do).

If you lock him in a room he will turn violent, then will just get more drugged up when he gets out. Besides, how long are you plannig on locking him in? It can take ages for drugs to leave the body, and this usually has to be done with strict medical supervision.

I don't think there are any countries without drugs, and you can buy them anywhere in Britain. I'm from a tiny rural community, but I've been offered them more times than I can count. And how would you get him to go? All you can do is help him if he WANTS to be helped.

If it's that bad, your only option is to move out - try looking at shared houses if you can't afford your own place.

Sorry to be the prophet of doom.

PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 10:45 am
by Bel Bel
I am afraid that I agree with missy3.
Your mum is also enabling him and commiting a crime if she is going with him
He has to wnat help and until he does there isn't much you can do
The shared house option is a good idea if you want to get away from thi situation
If he wanted to your brother could go to the doctors to get put on a methadone programme
Generally drug addicts have to hit rock bottom before they decide to get help and your mum is making it too easy for him
I know it's a weird option but ou could write to someone like Trisha or Jeremy Kyle, If he wanted to stop they could get him the help

PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 12:10 pm
by alphamach
even if I move out the rest of my family will suffer and I will have it on my mind still, although there will be benefits to moving out for myself.
everyone at home must be feelings stressed because he is on drugs.

I to help the rest of my family more than my brother, because he obvioulsy isn't trying hard enough when I do help him.

It is just better for the whole family if he leaves us all alone and disappears.

kicking him out may help him hit rock bottom.

I do not like this situation

if he doesn't want help he can get lost and do his own thing.
the easier we are on him, which we have been very easy, then the more he will take the lemonade and stay on the drug.
it is a powerful drug it seems.

drug clinics are rubbish, they give a substitute but if he isn't taking the substitue then why keep him on the programme.
it is a bad programme anyways, if it isnt helping him it can't be good.
they need to change things because it obviously isn't working or just kick him off

PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 12:33 pm
by Bel Bel
Well it sounds like he really doesn't want to help himself and yes tough love means not giving him a easy ride and if that means kicking him out for the health, saftey and mental well being of the rest of the family it is what has to be done
This isn't just about him as you know it is hurting the rest of the family and your mum has a duty to protect the rest of you
Will your mum do it though?
I really feel for you this must be an absolutely awful situation to be in :grouphug:

PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 12:53 pm
by alphamach
yes it is just so annoying and frustrating as I care about my whole family (who doesn't)

and im sure my brother can do much better.
I think there is that part of him that does want to stop, and yet there is another part which cannot let go of the drugs.

I try to help him focus on other things he may enjoy and to go for something, keep busy.
Alas he does not try enough, or put any effort in.

maybe I should just focus on myself for now. I certainly have things to improve too.

it is tough tho when there is negativity all around or feels like it

PostPosted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 10:35 am
by brfc
i always say that you cant make someone give anything up unless they want too.

at the end of the day you have just got too focus on yourself. the only person you can change is yourself. hard though it is you got too let him work out for himself what hes doing. i do feel your mum buying the drugs with him isnt helping. talking to people who know about this stuff like talk to frank might be helpfull.

hope it all works out

take care brfc

PostPosted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 12:20 pm
by spacegirl
have you spoken to your gp? he might be able to refer you to a local drugs group or get some sort of help for your brother. but as the others say if he doesn't want to stop thenhe won't. i don't understand why your mum is making it so easy for him to keep takng the heroin. i suppose her reasoning is that she knows where it's comin from and knows he's using clean needles etc. but is she gonna keep doing this for the rest of his life?

the person you need to get though to is your mum, your brother is an addict and while he keeps getting his drugs on a plate so to speak, he has no incentive to stop. how do the rest of your family feel about this. maybe if you all got together and made her stop then she would have to see your reasoning

PostPosted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 12:15 am
by alphamach
u make good sense spacegirl

everyone else too ........