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Living with brother....

PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 10:34 am
by miaow
this is a bit of a strange one...

Me and my brother bought a house 3yrs ago to get on the property ladder (we are in our mid 20's), rather than buying a flat each or renting, with intention of making money for us to get a deposit for our own houses later on. We get on really well and have no problems. He recently split from his girlf (we both have partners) and she wrote him a letter which he let me see (we are v close) at the end she'd put if you still want to save for a house I will to show I am committed to you. They are now back together (I am pleased she is nice girl). When I mentioned this to him he said well yeah plan was to get mortgage with the gf in year or so.

Now I always knew this would happen, BUT, I do not earn as much as him so would only be able to get a mortgage on a flat. I would be happy to get a flat apart from this fact: he bought a staffy puppy last year (which incidently wrecked the house and we've both had to redecorate!), at xmas he said he couldnt cope with her as she needs so much attention and cost fortune that he was giving her to rspca; this broke my heart so I have registered her with me at the vets, etc and I now fully look after her and pay for her bills, food etc. This has taken its toll on my relationship as well as my money - dogs are expensive, but I love her and just couldn't get rid of her. My angst now is that when we do sell the house I cant rent with one of my friends (which would be an option) as I have the dog, nor if I get a flat would she have a garden to run around in the day...she would be confined to a little flat until I got home.

This is making me depressed - as really my brother has done nothing wrong apart from getting this dog which I now love. What also eats at me is that we discussed getting a dog months before he bought one, but decided against it as I said I couldnt afford one and didnt have the time with working long hrs and with a commute to work (long days).

Moving in with my boyf is not an option really - he also has a dog and they just do not get on. Plus I dont see us living together anyway - although at this moment in time I am v happy with him.

I guess my real gripe is that i cant get rid of the dog and just wish he'd had more sense instead of just impulsingly going out and buying her :(

PostPosted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 7:07 pm
by snail
I can only think of three options:

- Ask your brother if he would re-consider looking after the dog himself, in his new house, now that she's a bit more grown up and perhaps less of a handful. After all, there's no doubt it's his responsibility. Pets aren't things you pick up and then drop again when it's inconvenient, they're part of the family, like a child. If he's not going too far away, perhaps you could offer to walk her every other day or feed her occasionally, to spread the burden (that way you'd also get to see her a lot).

- See if you can find accommodation that's suitable for a dog and still within your price range. It's difficult but not totally impossible. For example, sometimes farms have outbuildings they've converted to flats, so it's a flat, but still in the country. Likewise, I've known large country houses that stand in their own grounds in rural areas that have been converted to flats. It is quite hard to find these sort of places but they do exist. The only downside is commuting tends to be more difficult.

- Give the dog to the RSPCA. At least they would check out the new owners.

PostPosted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 8:43 pm
by miaow
Thank you for this - v much appreciated. Is difficult situation and yes yr right, ultimately it will be one of the outcomes you say - ideally the 1st!!

many thanks again