Brother

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Brother

Postby miaow » Thu Feb 05, 2009 8:06 pm

I've posted ages ago about my brother, we are very close and in order to get a foot on the property ladder we got a joint mortgage and bought a nice semi. The plan is to eventually move out with our respective partners into new homes and rent this house out.

We talked about getting a dog a couple of yrs back and we both decided no, as we liked our freedom and also the cost with vets etc. A year later he rang me and said he'd bought a pup - a staffy. She is adorable and I love her to bits.

A year later, she'd wrecked the house and we had to do it all back up, new carpets, new couch etc. He said he couldnt cope with her (even though I use to do everything) and that he wanted to get rid of her. I was heartbroken, and told him no I would have her. A few months later I was almost having a nervous breakdown with him, work, the dog, boyf etc. I called his bluff and said I was ringing the RSPCA ( I hadnt - I couldnt get rid of her it would break my heart in two) and that she was going, he changed his tune and said he'd help and pull his weight with the helping, and he did, but it soon wore off.

We had several fall outs about him always being out and doing NOTHING to help, even just walking her now and again, or feeding her. After each row he'd help again, but as always it got back to me doing it all within a few weeks. His girlf doesn't help - she makes him choose between the dog and her. He says he feels torn because he loves the dog but his girlf wants him to go out and to stay at hers (they have little dogs and mine would hurt them even just playing) - they have been going out for years so are serious so he takes what she says seriously.

Now he works away every other fortnight at the other end of the country, so I have her full time. When he is back we take it in turns to go out and sleep at our partners homes, this gives me a bit of a break. The thing is, at the moment he is back and he is doing nothing but wind me up,unintentially, but its "i'm out tonight your gonna have to swap nights with me and Im off all weekend so wont be here then next week im this that and other than im back at work for two weeks". I just feel like Im being taken for a mug. His girlf doesnt want to get ahouse with him yet as she has catergorically said she will not look after the dog whilst he is working. So he likes living with me still as he knows the dog is ok.

AM i being a mug? I know he shouldnt of got her, and I shouldnt have fallen in love with her. And maybe when he said he didnt want all the hassle i should of just stepped back and let him get rid of her but I just couldnt, and now I feel resentful to him. He has the life of someone without any responsibilities whereas Im constantly thinking I cant stay over at my blokes, I cant go out of town for the weekend as no one to look after dog, etc etc.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just feel like i'm gonna explode. I hate the fact I'm starting to hate him - he is my brother and I love him and I shouldnt be getting so stressed over something so silly. It gets to the point when he mentions anything about the dog I want to burst into tears - I really feel stressed by all of this. I just cant get rid of her.

I guess things will be better when we finally do move out (when I have saved enough for a deposit with my bloke) but it is going to be a couple of years before I have enough, and in the meantime I feel like Im so stressed Im going to give myself a heartattack.
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Re: Brother

Postby Bel Bel » Fri Feb 06, 2009 12:46 pm

OK you have choices but none of them are the perfect answer

take the dog on soley as yours and accept that is the way it is from now, it will take the heat out of your relationship with your brother and you will always know where you stand

tell your brother you no longer want any responsibility he bought the dog he can deal with it, the consequence may be that he gives the dog to a home but at least it is his decision not yours

or you try to find someone you know who will have the dog
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

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Re: Brother

Postby miaow » Sat Feb 07, 2009 10:01 pm

Yep, makes sense. When he aint here and I know i've got her 24/7 I am strangely calm, it's just when he is back he winds me up!!! I do love him though!

I am going to have to bite my lip and just get on with it, and remember that one day I wont be living with him so it won't be an issue!

Cheers.... :)
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