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sister & her b/f want to do IT shes underage hes not!!

PostPosted: Fri Dec 26, 2003 8:08 pm
by LoVe BuG
k erm my little sister who is 14 has got a b/f whos my age (16) they've done everything but sex but they have planned to they were going to on xmas eve but all the family was around so they couldnt but now my mum is letting him sleep on new years eve and their going to do it then.

I dont want her to do it just because she thinks shes ready i mean she might regret it (i did at her when i first did it at her age i thought i was ready ive also told her this) and what if the comdom splits and she is also underage.

she wont listen though what can i do to make sure she knows if she really wants to do it.

Love Trudi
P.S ill be happy if anyone replys

PostPosted: Fri Dec 26, 2003 8:16 pm
by captainf
One of the main reasons as to why your sister won't listen to you is because she may feel you're being a hypocrit. As you also did it at her age, and you are now telling her it's wrong, she will probably just think that you don't want her to do it.

You did the right thing and spoke to her about it, and thats basically all you can do. If she makes the mistake now, then it's down to her own discretion and she should be responsible for her own actions.

It's a shame that the kids must be like this today, but I guess times are changing... lets hope that in 50yrs time, kids aged 10 or younger, are not going at it..

An alternative to your situation though, is to tell your mother, however, I really do doubt that your sister will be thanking you for it after though.

Some people might not like what i'm about to say now, but as you've already advised her, let her make her own mistake if she should choose to. It's unfortunate, but most people in this day and age only learn their lesson when they actually do the wrong thing...

The very best of luck.

All the best

Captain Flynn

PostPosted: Fri Dec 26, 2003 8:23 pm
by LoVe BuG
i cant tell my mum she would kill her she grounded me for 2 months and stoped me seeing my b/f and told me that if i went out with him or told him i still loved him she would make me move in with my nana when she found out id done it and i dont want my sister to go through that. Even though im now with the lad agen she know but cant do anything as im 16 now. yay

PostPosted: Fri Dec 26, 2003 8:47 pm
by captainf
I know you won't agree, but sometimes mothers know best. My mother met my g/f last week, and said that she's a really nice girl. I'm glad that my mother approves of Fiona (I knew that she would) as it does make the relationship alot easier.

Don't use your age as a way to avoid your parents advice or disapproval, because SOMTIMES they can spot problems that you can't, and besides, there are already guys out there that will expose your age and vulnerability in a bad way, and sometimes your parents can spot them a mile off.

As I said, it's important to always keep in mind what your mother (parents) say because it could be of importance.

All the best

Captain Flynn

PostPosted: Sat Dec 27, 2003 8:59 pm
by saz
It is lovely of you to care about your sister Trudi and i know it is hard to get them to listen to their big sister! As you say you regret what happened with you and dont want her to do the same but apart from telling your mum there isn't a lot you can do, apart from keep talking to her trying to get her to listen. If you tell your mum you run the risk of your sister being really upset and hurt but you are trying to protect her and she should understand this, maybe not right now. Your mum is letting him stay over which might not be a good idea. I know she may well think it is all innocent but the way round this is to get them to sleep separately.

Your mum must know that this is a possibillity so you could try and talk to her about it. It is only because you care about your sister and want to help her.

Try and talk to her about contraception too, and being ready to take the step. She probably does respect your views and advice. Also tell her that you are always there to talk to so hopefully she will continue to confide in you. Good luck.

PostPosted: Sun Dec 28, 2003 1:20 pm
by sovs
This really has to be her choice, if its a mistake she will learn from it, thats what makes us.
I understand that you care about your sister but she has to learn for herself.
I had sex when i was 15 and it was the right time for me, so this might be the right time for your sister.
You never know she might decide shes not ready when it comes to it.
Leave it up to her or she might not confide in you anymore.

PostPosted: Sun Dec 28, 2003 1:54 pm
by misatok11
Try talking to her again, after all if she is going to do it she will. Try and drop subtle hints to your mum that way she may have a word with your sister about contraception, etc.

It's nice to see you care about your sis like this but after all is said and done all she can do is look back on your advice and think "maybe i should have listened." As long aas she knows you are there for her whatever happens.

PostPosted: Sun Dec 28, 2003 10:10 pm
by LoVe BuG
well she said shes made up her mind and at the end of the day she aint going to change it so im just going to give up i cant win or help her so let it be

PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2003 12:36 pm
by captainf
I know this might sound bad, but I think that you've decided to do one, out of a possible two things that are right (the other being tell you mum) Choosing to let your sister go ahead is a noble idea in the sense that if she does think it's a mistake, then she has to live with that thought and be responsible for her own actions, afterall, she can't blame you as you did try to help her out.

All the best

Captain Flynn

PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2003 5:03 pm
by luvva
yeh i agree with captain flynn, after all you did try

PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2003 6:17 pm
by misatok11
At the end of the day as long as you are there for her, thats all that matters.

PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2003 7:31 pm
by sovs
Just tell her to use a condom.
You could always get some free for her from your local family planning.

PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2003 2:03 pm
by Fidel
I think it's the guy who wears the condom.......sorry only joking.
Yes, tell them to be careful coz I think they'll be more hasty if it's done like that

PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2003 5:40 pm
by sovs
LOL :roll: Though you can get femidoms!!!

PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2003 5:45 pm
by Enigma
I knew she was going to post that!