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sisters pregnant but might be taken away from her! AGAIN

PostPosted: Tue Jan 13, 2004 9:56 pm
by LoVe BuG
my older sister was 15 when she first got pregnant and she had the baby but then we found out the father was already on the pedofiles list which he never told us (he was a close friend of the family always was also was our next door neighbour)

When she had the baby and we all found out and social services got involved and the baby was taken off her and it was either to live with us or go in care so my mum and dad (together at the time) took him in and now about 5 years later we've found out shes 3 months pregnant again and i dont want her to have it taken off her again if its a girl they might not have it taken away but if its a boy it will be.

My mum cant take it this time as shes pregnant herself and my sister doesnt want an abortion and shes already nearly had a miscarage its just made me so upset i dont want to lose my nephew/neice i mean im also doing my mock exams and GCSEs this years its really annoyed me and ive lost total consentration on my revision.

What can i do to help me get back my concentration for revising and to help me stop thinking of the baby more i dont want to stop completly obviosly just to take my mind off it for a while.

PostPosted: Wed Jan 14, 2004 9:13 am
by smile
Five years ago, a lot of things were different. She was under 16 for a start and therefore had to do what her parents told her. Now she is 20, so therefore she is living her own life and can choose what she wants to do without someone making the decision for her. I would talk to your sister and tell her how you feel, that way you can support her and she can support you a little.

PostPosted: Wed Jan 14, 2004 2:59 pm
by saz
This is a hard situation for you. I know you dont want to lose the child either way but she has made the decision to have another one knowing that this is a possibility. She might have made this decision to put right some wrongs that have happened before, and might be prepared to do it right this time.

I dont want to sound harsh when i say this, but if the child does get taken away it will be in the best interests of that child and i am sure it will be loved and taken care of by whoever looks after it.

Your sister is an adult to make her own decisions. Just be there as a family supporting each other. You dont know how things are going to turn out and it might be a while before you know.

Good luck

PostPosted: Wed Jan 14, 2004 4:48 pm
by LoVe BuG
she didnt make the decision it was an accident

PostPosted: Wed Jan 14, 2004 5:27 pm
by Llisa
I believe Saz was refering to the situation right now...that your sister can make her own decisions about what if going to happen to the baby. She wasn't refering to the actual act of your sister getting pregnant.

PostPosted: Wed Jan 14, 2004 5:52 pm
by Fidel
What now, at 20. can they actually do to take it from her?

PostPosted: Thu Jan 15, 2004 7:39 am
by saz
I am sorry i didn't want to upset you Trudi. I meant that in this situation (pregnancy) there are always choices and decisions to be made, and your sister has chosen to have another child. She obviously feels that this is right and now she is an adult you have to respect her wishes. I know what has happened in the past has really upset you - it would me.

My boyfriends sister has 5 kids and the three eldest were taken from her several years back. She went on to have the last 2 which weren't taken away from her even though she had done things before (drugs and ran away leaving them) and is doing pretty well even though this time she is on her own. Ok so we dont always agree with what she does but we just try and love the kids no matter who they are living with.

Hopefully social services will look carefully into everything and make a decision that is best for the baby AND your sister. They dont want to split families up unless they really have to they would rather they were all together.

PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 9:33 pm
by LoVe BuG
Hi well I know I havn't brought this up for a while but I've jus checked it and Fidel there taking it away because of the father not her it's because he did something with a past step-child of his.

PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 10:08 pm
by Jo
1) Do both children have the same father?

2) Is she still in contact with the father of the first child?

PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 10:52 pm
by LoVe BuG
Yes they both have the same father.So yes to the other question aswell