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Is there something mentally wrong with my brother?

PostPosted: Wed Jan 26, 2005 11:22 pm
by Nobody's_Perfect
Sorry for the long post.

My brother acts weird/funny all the time and both me and my mum think there is something wrong with him mentally.

He's lost several jobs, is now REPEATING college (first year) at the age of 20, has failed his driving test 5 times, which resulted in him pushing me because he was angry apparently.

We live with our mum only as our parents are divorced and we haven't seen our dad for about 8/9years.

Recently, over the past year, he's become really culturally aware, and he's into EVERYTHING chinese, he started to hang out with only chinese people, talk in chinese, only watch chinese films and listen to chinese music. He also thought of throwing away all his western cd's and films. I had a feeling my uncle might have something to do with this because he is also very culturally aware, I think my uncle's way of thinking stems from him being bullied as a child at school, though I don't know where my brother's behaviour has arisen from.

My brother laughs to himself all the time, and when you ask him why he's laughing, he denies it and says he wasn't, when he blatently was. It's not just me that's noticed this though, my aunties, uncles, cousins, mum, friends, etc have too.

You can never get a straight answer from him, and when you try to explain something to him, he becomes, seemingly angry, and just talks over you.

His behaviour is erratic and spends most of his time locked away in his room and when you ask him a question, EVERY TIME he'll straight away answer with 'hmm?' he'll then think for a few seconds, reply, and then suddenly change his answer....

I can understand the being culturally aware may be a temporary thing and may only be a phase, but what I do not understand why he laughs all the time and then says he wasn't. Is it his way of trying to get attention?

When we address the issue, he denies all this actions, and reacts oddly. He doesn't act, as bad as this word is, 'normal' and if you met him, you can really tell there is something else going on there.

He also went through this stage where he made complaints of the medical kind, e.g he couldn't breathe when eating was one of them, and when he got checked out by the doctor (dr ran ALL tests, inc diabetes, blood tests etc) he found nothing and even the docotr suggested it was all in his mind.

Is my brother suffering from a personality disorder, is there something mentally wrong there or is he simply just lacking in social skills?

Please help me. Thanks.

PostPosted: Wed Jan 26, 2005 11:32 pm
by nothings_shocking
maybe he did not take the divorde too well when he was younger and is kind of expressing himself by this behaviour?

PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2005 1:27 pm
by arwen
I have a friend who acts in much the same way you describe. Nothing specific, just "odd" behaviour, and not socially "normal" (yes I hate abusing that word as well).
With my friend, it is simply that he does not see things in the same way as others do. His behaviour to most people is bizarre, but to him other people seem bizarre. He is just eccentric with stranger views than most. His parents are priests which may have given him an unusual childhood.
Whatever the cause, he is one of the best and most loyal friends I have ever known and would do anything to help or protect me (and has done!), sticking by me through times when nobody else wanted to know.

Your brother may have been affected badly by your parents' divorce (mine tore my life apart and I was an adult with my own home when it happened, so goodness knows how younger kids cope). It may have unbalanced him somewhat, but on the other hand he may just be expressing himself in his own way.

As long as he is not violent or hurting anyone, I would say try not to worry about it.

If you could get him to see a counsellor or psychiatrist that would probably answer your questions, but I can't see it being an easy task to get him to go.

Re: Is there something mentally wrong with my brother?

PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2005 4:44 pm
by Enigma
Nobody's_Perfect wrote:He's lost several jobs, is now REPEATING college (first year) at the age of 20, has failed his driving test 5 times, which resulted in him pushing me because he was angry apparently.
This is quite similar to me. I left college at the start of the second year because I didn't want to be there. I've lost several jobs due to poor punctuality and/or going AWOL (Absent WithOut Leave) on the employers. I know now that my behaviour with employers was passive aggressive, not productive. Certain erratic behaviour, including spontaneous periods of not attending work, can now be attributed to what was later identified as depression.

Looking back, such behaviour started significantly in my last year of secondary school. Because it goes on for such a long time, people around you get used to you as this sort of person, and often find it difficult to see that it is actually out of character. Even for myself, I became so used to not being myself that I'm still working on getting back! The key here is to sieve out the bad stuff in the process. I was passive aggressive, erratic and anti-social for a reason, and have been fundamentally okay all along.