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Brother failing

PostPosted: Sun Mar 06, 2005 8:25 pm
by red-hot-raspberries
My brother is in his last year of university and I am in my first.
He's dyslexic. He's always got average grades and went to a pretty average university. Ever since he went he's had a hard time. He's had to retake practically every exam he's taken ever since his first year. I just found out he failed half of the exams he took in January. He still has re-takes to do from last Summer. Basically he'll either have to drop out at such a late stage or retake the whole year and work his ass off. From how I know him, he'll probably choose to stay on, but won't work. He's lazy. As far as I know he's never had a girlfriend, although he's not unattractive.

I've always had it easy. I've always been in a relationship since I was 15. I hardly had to work at all for my GCSEs and came out with As. My A-levels we pretty much the same. At university I'm having to work but I really enjoy it, having a challenge. I find everything so easy. When we were younger it always used to annoy me how my parents put all the praise on my brother even though I always got the better grades.

Now I just feel bad. I know its not my fault but I feel so upset for him. we've never been close so the only time I ever speak to him is when we're both at home in the holidays.
I'm just so worried about how he'll cope. Failure isn't a thing I've ever had to come to terms with and he seems to be surrounded by it. I'd just feel so upset if I was in his boots.

PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2005 10:01 pm
by lilessexgal
have you tried talking to him? show him some support etc i mean im sure you do anyways

PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2005 1:52 pm
by red-hot-raspberries
We've never talked at all. It would be wierd if I called him or something and I'd feel as if I'd be intruding and being nosey. He's not very good on the phone and I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate my concern.
I just feel horrible because things are so easy for me. What can I say? Sorry? I have nothing to apologise for.

PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2005 9:54 pm
by lilessexgal
your right its not your fault! maybe you could tell your mum to show him more support and get him some help?

PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2005 10:22 pm
by Laurajane
of course its not your fault. This same thing happened to me- nobody ever went to uni in my family so i was going whatever- my brother didnt even take his gcse's and he's three years older than me (i'm 21) he was never academic, had major problems at school, and basically went straight into work at 16 and he;s never looked back since! I think that you could possibly ask him hows hes getting on without looking patronising and maybe mention to your parents how you feel> as mine, especially my dad never took it into consideration how thick my brother felt compared to me

PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 12:12 am
by red-hot-raspberries
My brother doesn't like help. He's quite arrogant like that. He's dyslexic and could have got help from his university... longer exam times, free computer (my mate who is also dyslexic got a whole new computer from my uni free of charge!!), but he just didn't. It was the same with his a levels and gcses. If my parents try to help him he will just tell them to stop interrupting which is fair enough. I'd hate my parents trying to encourage me or whatever now I've found my own independence.

I just need to have a bit of a rant because I didn't really want to talk to anyone I know about it. I talked to my boyfriend but felt a bit wierd because although he's met my brother he doesn't really know him so I don't want to discuss my brother's personal issues. Not that he'd judge I'd just feel a bit wierd,