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Sister problem

PostPosted: Sun Jul 31, 2005 5:04 pm
by macgill
Right here goes....

When I came in today the big fella across the road from me asked if he could have a quiet word with me. He was saying he wasn't sure if she was smoking or not but he definatley seen her holding a cigarette (she's only 11). He seen her with 2 other boys and they were definately smoking. So that makes me think all the money she has been asking me for has she been spending it on cigarettes?

So what do I do? Do I confront her and ask what happened or do I tell my mum and dad and let them deal with it.

PostPosted: Sun Jul 31, 2005 5:22 pm
by Liquidius
I say don't do anything. If you confront her, then she'll only deny it, and mum and dad will do the same. Stop giving her money, and see how she reacts.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2005 11:42 am
by arwen
How close are you to your sis? If you get on OK, I would try and have a quiet word alone with her about why she shouldn't be smoking (just type "smokers lung" into any search engine - that should be enough to put anyone off!)

She's probably doing it to "fit in" and "be cool", and maybe if you remind her that it is anything BUT cool, she might take notice. Tell her no boy wants to kiss an ashtray and she is making herself ugly and smelly.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2005 12:44 pm
by all_apologies
Usually I don't recommend any form of threats or blackmail, but I think you should confront her about it, and if she doesn't listen to you, threaten to tell your parents. I know that's breaking her trust, but if she continues and becomes addicted, she could become a smoker for the rest of her life. She may hate you for it for a little while, but in the big picture it'll be worth it. The health risks just aren't worth it, especially in an eleven year old who's still a growing child.

When I was just a little older than your sister, it became the "in thing" to smoke, and a lot of my friends took it up just to look cool. Most of them quit after a few months, as it had only been a social thing - half a fag in front of your mates every couple of days. However, two of my friends became hooked and are still smokers now. It's a shame that they're ruining their bodies for the sake of looking cool when they were 13.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2005 5:45 pm
by macgill
Thanks for the replies much appreciated.

I am going to have a quiet word with her tonight when my mum and dad are away out. Obviously she is going to deny it and I don't know if she is telling the truth or not with the amount of lies she tells already. But I'll give it a try.

PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2005 12:40 pm
by arwen
At least she will know that you know, that might make her think about it a bit. Good luck xxx

PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2005 4:19 pm
by macgill
Right here is what happened. . .

On Sunday night I said to my wee sister that I wanted a word with her when mum and dad go along to nanas. She just kind of looked at me funny.

On Monday morning my wee sister asks my mum why does David want to speak with me when you and dad go to nanas (silly idiot gets my mum supicious at what I want to speak to her about). So when I come in after my cycle my mum asks me what is it you want to speak to Laura about. So I tried to dodge it by saying I'll tell you later but she kept going on and on so I told her that she was caught by iain across the road. I said to my mum though don't say anything to her til I get a hold of her.

On Monday night when my wee sister came in I asked her who were you out with, what were you doing and then I said you weren't smoking were you. She just looked at me funny and said no. Then I said what about the other night she was completely honest and said yes. By this time my dad knew as my mum told him when they were at my nanas.

So before they came back my wee sister went to her bed as she knew she was going to get bum booted. When my dad came in he got a hold of her and quizzed her about it. Turns out she was smoking my wee cousin and a few others.

But here comes the twist to the tale lol. My wee sister confessed that it was in the woods near my cousins bit, now why would my neighbour see them in the woods. So my mum asked Iain acroos the road today where she seen her smoking turns out he seen her in the street.

So it seems it wasn't her first time.

I'll give you an update when my dad comes in from work and gives her another boot in the bum. See the thing is she swore on our lifes last night that she had only done it once. Now either my neighbour is lying (don't think so) or she :^o is lying. I think I know who I would believe.


I sympathise

PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2005 3:22 pm
by rainbow-fairy

I've just been told my 12yr old daughter has been trying smoking and i dont know what to do about it, me and her dad dont smoke and i hate the habit so i dont know how about trying to get her to stop before she gets into the habit of it either, its so hard telling them as they just think your a nagging mum :( .

Take care all Rainbow xx

PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 10:11 pm
by dappychick88
Heya. Thats a tough problem you have there. You can either leave it and not give her money and see her reaction, or, ignore the fact and give her money, or, have a quiet word with her and tell her you have seen her smoking, or, get your parents to deal with it. However, if she hasnt been smoking then that will cause more trouble than its worth. Another idea is to keep an eye on her and see if she does smoke, but not obviously. Or, smell her when she comes in - she will either stink of smoke or perfume (trying to mask the smell). Hope that helps.