Out of control Sister

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Out of control Sister

Postby Angel_Fairy » Sun Aug 14, 2005 9:47 pm

Heya,
right this is just to let off a bit of steam- sorry if i go on.

Well my sisters always bullied me, and ruined everything for me. My friends came round for a birthday party, which led to my sis holding one of my friends up against a wall by the throat- over no reason at all. She despises all my bfs, and spends the whole time my bfs home with us so hard. She shouts things down the phone to them when im talking to them like 'i hate your guts' etc. She's 22, I'm 19. It's been like this since i was 4. No one seems to know whats wrong with her. We can't afford to get her seen by a psychiatrist. She's just so immature for her age. I teach 7 yrs olds, and there more mature than her, its horrible. She's just finished trashing my room, because my bf called me while she was watching a programme on TV, that she's already seen twice today. She's held a knife to me, and beaten me and my mother, yet she's an angel around my dad. She even now sits on his lap and tickles him, and tweaks his nipples?! I mean what the ...?! my friends refuse to visit, and so does my bf because they're scared. I'm losing my friends over it, and my parents won't do anything. Please help me!! ANY suggestions welcome, Thank you xXx
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Out of Control Sister

Postby Tallulah » Wed Aug 17, 2005 1:20 pm

What a nightmare your sister is! :evil:

It does sound as though she has a few issues, maybe with females? What do your mum and dad do when she is acting in this horrible way? It seems astounding to think that you just have to 'put up' with that kind of behaviour!

All I could suggest, which may not be a possibility is maybe to move out? Or hope that she moves out before you?

Do you not have a mobile phone that your friends and boyfriend could phone you on? Then maybe you could use that instead of a landline and the risk of upsetting her favourite programmes! Although that sounds like giving in to her, it doesn't sound as though she is the kind of person to back down and be controlled. Maybe your best course of action would be to keep out of her way for as much as possible - maybe get a lock for your bedroom!

It is quite disturbing to read that she has actually physically harmed you and your mum though, I would probably feel scared to be in the house with her!

I don't feel like I've been much help to you, but I hope things get better! x :D
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Postby Angel_Fairy » Wed Aug 17, 2005 3:37 pm

Heya,
My sisters in the navy, but everytime she comes home on a break (nrly every weekend) she disrupts everything. Both my rents admit shes a problem, but no one will confront her about it because she cries so easily.Me and my frineds are all students, so most the time do not have credit to call each others mobiles!!
I was just thinking perhaps, if anyone else knows people like this. Are psychologically ok? or is there an actual problem making her like this.
Her jealousy can be dangerous too! At my birthday party when i was younger, she took my friend to one side, and held her by the throat against the wall. This can't be normal??!! my parents always say, for an 'easy life' just agree with my sister, so everone can get on with what they're doing, without a huge row occuring. but sometimes the things she does NEEDS punishment or SOMETHING! She's 22 now, so i guess its too late- still she acts like a 4yrold! :S

Thank you for your reply, its made me feel better :)
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Postby brielle » Wed Aug 17, 2005 8:22 pm

Its very abnormal behavoiur, yes there is something not quite right, sounds a bit like she rules everything ( because she can) not a good situation, its a parental issue, if they let her walk over everyone, ( then she will)

If you dont want her interfering in your life, (tell her) you have rules too!

Dont stand for any mish mash, she must be used to rules and regulations in her job, she just needs a few rules of right and wrong at home too.
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Postby Tallulah » Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:05 am

[quote="Angel_Fairy"]Heya,
My sisters in the navy, but everytime she comes home on a break (nrly every weekend) she disrupts everything. Both my rents admit shes a problem, but no one will confront her about it because she cries so easily.Me and my frineds are all students, so most the time do not have credit to call each others mobiles!!
I was just thinking perhaps, if anyone else knows people like this. Are psychologically ok? or is there an actual problem making her like this.
Her jealousy can be dangerous too! At my birthday party when i was younger, she took my friend to one side, and held her by the throat against the wall. This can't be normal??!! my parents always say, for an 'easy life' just agree with my sister, so everone can get on with what they're doing, without a huge row occuring. but sometimes the things she does NEEDS punishment or SOMETHING! She's 22 now, so i guess its too late- still she acts like a 4yrold! :S

Hey,

I do think that your parents being so laid back with her probably has something to do with her attitude as she thinks she can do whatever she wants! I suppose the up side is that you have a nice quiet week while she is away!

If your parents have let her get away with stuff since she was little, then it may be why she has this attitude, did they not treat you in the same way? If there is only three years between you maybe she also holds a bit of jealousy and resentment towards you because she had to share your parents with you, especially your dad from what you said in your first post. But you would think that she would have grown out of that as she grew up!

I don't know enough about psychology to say if she has a disorder or if she is just acting like a spoilt brat! How does she get on in the Navy? Does she like it and have friends there?

She just sounds like a very unhappy person who doesn't like to see other people happy. If she doesn't have many close friends or boyfriend, then seeing you with friends and a boyfriend may make her feel sad so she takes it out on you and your friends. I don't know I'm just speculating. It just seems to me that if she is crying when confronted she's either really sad or she's putting it on for attention?

Although it may make things easier if you confronted her and told her what you think, if she has been violent in the past with you I'd just be careful as you don't want things to become worse than what they already are! Is she ever approachable, like when she's in a good mood you could put across the way she's making you feel and just emphathise with her and tell her that if she needs you for anything you'll be there for her, maybe that's what she doesn't realise because you've grown up arguing with each other?

I know what it's like being a student (24 now - getting old feels like centuries ago!), so I can understand what it's like not having any money! I just hope you get a really good job when you've finished what you're studying then if nothing else works you can get away from her!

Hope this helps xxx :D
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Postby arwen » Mon Aug 22, 2005 11:28 am

Your parents were wrong to let her get away with this behaviour for "a quiet life" - that is just appalling. They have allowed her to become a vile bully.

Is she physically stronger than you? Because it sounds to me like someone needs to pin HER against a wall!

The problem now is, she has gotten away with it for so long that even the most brutal attempt at standing up to her probably won't work.

Your best bet is, as soon as you can, walk away and get your own place. Your parents have created this monster, let them deal with it.
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Postby Angel_Fairy » Wed Sep 07, 2005 11:14 pm

thank you for all your replies :)

My sister is bigger than me, yes, so it's only my dad that could 'sort her out' and make her listen (not physical!!).

I've just found photo's of my sister and dad, looking quite close... its disturbing me and my bf. Its not like my dad would do anything, but her on the other hand....its just weird!!!

Thank you any way :d

Chrissy xXx
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Postby CFG » Wed Sep 07, 2005 11:47 pm

Angel_Fairy, I have to admit it worried me when you mentioned her "tickling" him, and tweeking his nipples...

This is a bit of a touchy subject, but I guess this is what you were hinting at the in the last post. Sorry if I offend - have you tried talking to your dad, like, one-to-one?
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Postby Tallulah » Thu Sep 08, 2005 10:12 am

Angel_Fairy wrote:thank you for all your replies :)

My sister is bigger than me, yes, so it's only my dad that could 'sort her out' and make her listen (not physical!!).

I've just found photo's of my sister and dad, looking quite close... its disturbing me and my bf. Its not like my dad would do anything, but her on the other hand....its just weird!!!

Thank you any way :d

Chrissy xXx


That it a bit worrying, it's a bit too close for comfort really. What does your mum think?

I think I'd feel a bit disturbed if I saw my sister tweeking my dad's nipples and tickling him!
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Postby Angel_Fairy » Thu Sep 08, 2005 11:35 pm

my mum was very upset but she's had a word with him about it, so that's okay, but it's just scary my sister does this. When my friends come round she tries to sit on his knee and tickle and hug him- it's embarassing. Least he knows to stop now, but she's still scaring me!!

Thank you for your help :) xXx
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