Feeling fear 24/7

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Feeling fear 24/7

Postby snowy » Mon Feb 12, 2007 8:14 pm

My mum is an alcoholic and I keep waiting for her next lapse.

I am so afraid that something awful will happen to her. It has played on my mind lately and I get scared when she doesn't answer her phone. I begin imagining horrible things that could have happened. I'm very paranoid and if she stumbles over a word I'm convinved she is drinking, if she does something that she wouldn't normally do, like go for a walk on a Sunday morning. I'm so scared of not being there for her when she needs me. It has taken over my life. Every waking hour I wonder if she is ok.

My parents are not long seperated but I believe she is seeing someone else. I asked her who this person was and she said he was a friend. But she never talks about him or mentions him and if he rings she leaves the room to talk. She told me that she was my mother not one of my friends and that there are some things she cannot discuss with me. She is in therapy at the moment and told me that there are still things she can't discuss with her therapist, never mind me. Now I'm wondering what these things could be. I'm so scared.

I don't know how to stop this cycle but it is causing me great anxiety.
Fall seven times, stand up eight.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Anyone can slay a dragon, he told me, but try waking up every morning & loving the world all over again. That’s what takes a real hero.
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Postby snowy » Sat Mar 03, 2007 8:19 pm

Anybody?
Fall seven times, stand up eight.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Anyone can slay a dragon, he told me, but try waking up every morning & loving the world all over again. That’s what takes a real hero.
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Postby chat noir » Sat Mar 03, 2007 9:33 pm

have you tried discussing your worries with her? I know how you feel in a way, I constantly worry my gran, who is 88, will fall over and hurt herself as she lives alone, even tho she's in perfectly good health! sigh! Ive got no experience with alcoholics myself...how long has it been since her last lapse? is she going to AA meetings or getting help?
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Postby snowy » Mon Jun 04, 2007 4:12 pm

She seems to relapse every 3 months or so. I've spoken to her about it before but I know that the desire for alcohol is stronger than her resistance. She dislikes meetings as they tend to focus on 'not drinking' while my mam doesn't want to think about drink at all when she is sober.

I think she may have relapsed today. I'm hoping I'm wrong but I'm judging by the sound of her voice on the phone.

I'm hurting. I just need some moral support.
Fall seven times, stand up eight.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Anyone can slay a dragon, he told me, but try waking up every morning & loving the world all over again. That’s what takes a real hero.
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Postby Teenspirit » Tue Jun 05, 2007 4:29 pm

It sounds like u may need 2speak 2 a proffessional as well as ur Mum.

Maybe u could both see someone on ur own n also see someone 2gether.

Do u try doing things with ur Mum 2 keep her mind off things?

I know what u mean about worrying about parents my Mum is terminally ill n part of the illness is Alzimers. B4 she got put in the home it was soooo hard we had 2 keep an eye on her 24/7 we was so scared that she'd hurt someone or herself.

She kept jumping out the window very late at night half dressed.
It was very scarey.

She got so bad that in the end me n my bro had to call the hospital it was the hardest thing weve ever had 2 do our mums only 46yrs old.
We have a little 10yr old sis too.

Well now shes great she will never be 100% due 2 her illness but she is so much better they said she had a breakdown but she even preffers it where she is she feels safe n secure.

Anyway I know its hard not 2 worry about ur Mum its human nature but ur Mum is the only one that can help herself.........

U just work on making u a better person n make sure u have good friends or family 4 support.
U sound like a good person n u could easily take advatage of the situation n run riot but ur doing the right thing.

Hope it all works out 4u

x
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