Dad

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Dad

Postby pink stripes » Fri Aug 17, 2007 12:53 am

Hey all,

Ok this is about my dad. i know hate is a strong word but right now I can't help but feel that way towards him.

Him and mum split up when I was only young, but that never really bothered me at all. I prefer just living with my mum.

He treated her, my brother and me pretty badly, and now, unfortunalty, he still does.

He is an alcoholic which led to the problems. This is where most of my hate [or shallwe say 'bad'] feeling towards him has come from. I used to go up and visit him, normally for about week. even then, when I was around 10years old he couldn't, or wouldn't stop drinking. I now refuse to go up there because I can't stand to see him drink. The last time I went up was with my mum at x-mas and that was for one day because we spent it with all the family, and not just him.

within the last couple years, every time a good thing has hapened to me, or for me, he would be one of the very first people to know, for example when I got my prom dress I rung him straight away because I was so happy. He had a right go at me in front of my mum and my 2 closest friends becasue I rang him up in the day, because its costs to much. [!] Another exmaple is when I got my G.C.S.E's, part of me was so happy so I rung him and told him. we spoke breifly because he was at work. Then every 5minutes for the next half hour he rung and repeated himself. what was the point? especially when he was at work?

A couple of months ago a contract for the sale of his house fell through so he rung me up and literally blamed me for everything.

He tries to take over everything - no exageration. And at the end of the day what right has he got, espeically over my mums life?! [just little things constantly that he tries to get involved with that have nothing whatsoever to do with him]

I dont know what to do any more. I feel as though I can't have him in my life because he causes me so much unhappiness. Im sick of him

Any advice on what to do becuase I can't take much more of him, or his drinking.

ta x..x..x
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Postby morris mouse » Fri Aug 17, 2007 5:02 pm

"pink stripes"

I'm so sorry to hear that your dad is an alcoholic,& the problems and difficulties you've had as a result of this. :(

Certainly one of the more upsetting events in your life,was when
your dad didn't show any interest in your G.C.S.E's.

Having said all of this,though [& I know that you're going to find this
hard to accept] he is your dad after all!!!

You have to remember what your dad has [his alcohol addiction] is an
illness

The best thing for you to do [& I know this is hard when he's always
letting you down] is to find help for your dad,and also,for you to support the rest of your family

NOT against,but looking after,your dad.
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Postby pink stripes » Fri Aug 17, 2007 5:39 pm

hi

thnks for the reply. i understand that its an illness but his done so many hurtful things.. like when my nan was dieing, he wouldnt let let me, mum or my borother go n see her. I didnt need protecting i knew she was ill and il never ever forgive him for not lettin me say goood bye to my nan for the last time.
Iv tried tlkin to him about his drinkin and he just brushes it off. im sick of it.
x
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Postby pink stripes » Sun Oct 07, 2007 8:26 pm

hi

just wanted to update people who have read my previous topics about my dad.

I've recently started driving and he offered to pay for a few which I thought was really nice.

Thing is - he now has a dog. and its like whenever he rings he constantly tlks about the dog. its like nothing else matters apart from the dog :x its so anoying. it doesnt hurt my feelings though becuase i've put up a sort of barrier to protct from myself from him because of the hurt he has caused me in the past.

But it is just so annoying. and when he has finished talking to me he will go and tell my mum the exact same thing #-o

He also over dramatises EVERYTHING to do with the dog. Like the other day she had an injection and she had a slight reaction to it. well dads blows it all of proportion saying "oh i thoguth she was dying - i nearly had a heart attack" For heavens sake! :x

Anyway my rant is done :)

--x
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Postby gatekeeper » Mon Oct 08, 2007 5:53 am

pink stripes, obviously, beneath all the 'hate', you still love your dad. If you didn't care about him, you wouldn't even bother informing him of the good things that's happening to you. The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.

Are you jealous that he's giving the dog more attention? Could you use the dog as a bridge to your dad's heart?

I think it's obvious your dad still cares for you, otherwise he wouldn't offer to pay for your driving lessons. Maybe he feels that to praise you would sound hypocritical, since he was never really there for you. The only thing he could do to acknowledge what you've just told him is to criticise. Or perhaps, he feels this is not the best you're getting. e.g not the best prom dress or GCSE results. Maybe it's his way of saying, you could have gotten better, you deserve better.

Whatever it is, I hope you sort things out with him. You have nothing to lose only gain--one more parent to love and care for you. :)
Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you and I wish on a star that somewhere you are thinking of me too...
So I wait for the day and the courage to say how much I love you
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Postby pink stripes » Sat Oct 27, 2007 12:19 am

here is yet another rant about my Dad :x

I'm so sick of him thinking its ok to patronise me - I'm 17 and he is still trying to tell me what to do!

He has been moaning at me for about 2months now about getting a job. So I apply and apply for so many months and finally it pays off as I had an interview this morning. Anyway he then moans at me for getting the interview! I simply can not win! He 'told' me that if this job involves night shifts that I'm allowed to do it. Well firstly I wouldn't be working alone and I would only be working til 7pm in the evening. But apparenlty its too dangerous for me - if I was younger then yes ok but I'm not I'm nearly an adult - why can't he treat me like one?

And then he moaned at me for not telling him that I passed my thoery - well if he wantd to know so badly he cold have rung or text - but no I don't hear from him for over a week!

rant over - thats better :)

--x
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